only one shot.

GP today was horrible.

After the exams i couldn't believe that this was it. THIS is really it. No more 'nevermind la i'll do better next time'. That's the end. And this is how it ends. Tragedy. Grrrr. I realised I had worked hard yes, but too little too late.

Walau, actually i was more distraught over paper 1 than over paper2 though both were disastrous. I had always dreamed of writing a really really meaningful essay for the real thing and what question did I choose? Eeeh. REally wanted to do the charity and the entrepreneur question but was too afraid of taking risks, then after the paper all the ideas flowed grr....At least one lesson I've learnt: have to follow your heart sometimes. (:

K lar, at least Gp has made me more knowledgeable. A better person maybe. I'll do something bout that 44million child labourers in India when I grow up (:

Oh and haha, today was a funny day indeed. Walked back to the hostel with renxin under one faulty umbrella. It rained only after we walked out of the MRT station haha. Our shoes got soaked, then we took the bus. And crossed the road. I was about to be splashed by the puddles of water cos a car drove past me...renxin pulled me back and saved me (sort of) but ended up stepping into a puddle of muddy water then we were laughing bout it and wala... another car sped past and we were really splashed this time. I think the people in the cars opposite of us were laughing at us la haha.

aNyway thank God I have encouraging people around me. Aunty Linda assured me that she was praying for me. (:

Tho' i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i shall not fear!!!! (:

come on lar A LEVELS only ma!!haha.

bleh.

hur hur.

to anyone who's reading this:

"all the best for A's (:
don't come here anymore till after A's k?"

too-dle-loo!!!

Greatness.

I'm surrounded by greatness. Great people. I don't mean people who are super nice to me n stuff (they are, by the way) but I'm talking bout things like intelligence, charisma, leadership, capabilities and talents etc etc etc...

I've just realised that recently haha. Close friends of mine tend to be high-flying achievers in their respective fields, and most of the time they're all-rounders. Haha. Why ar?

Sometimes greatness overshadows the little scrub. (Or actually all the time)
But I think God's trying to tell me something through this haha. He's positioned me in life, i guess, to make a difference, however small, in the lives of these great people.

Behind every great person is a supportive little scrub.

You may not agree, but I believe so (:
(Meanwhile, the little scrub strives on - to be the best one in the valley!!)

20 days and counting down.

The shoe gobbler strikes again

the shoe gobbler strikes again!!

came out of the bath cubicle and *gasp* my slippers were no where to be found! Familiar scene. I shouted the shoe gobbler's name in agony, almost immediately :" CHAAAREEEELIIII!!!!!!!!".

i barged into her room demanding justice! the shoe gobbler, the nerve of her, she put on that innocent look pretty well. "Huh?", was all she said. But I knew better than that, I went back into the bathroom and looked around, marched back into her room and forced it out of her. "WHERE IS IT?!?!", i bravely demanded. Many 'puzzled' looks and well-told lies after, she finally gave in. Haha.

She 'hid' my slippers on the ledge near the bathroom window.

can't believe i missed that. Hah.

The shoe gobbler strikes again

the shoe gobbler strikes again!!

came out of the bath cubicle and *gasp* my slippers were no where to be found! Familiar scene. I shouted the shoe gobbler's name in agony, almost immediately :" CHAAAREEEELIIII!!!!!!!!".

i barged into her room demanding justice! the shoe gobbler, the nerve of her, she put on that innocent look pretty well. "Huh?", was all she said. But I knew better than that, I went back into the bathroom and looked around, marched back into her room and forced it out of her. "WHERE IS IT?!?!", i bravely demanded. Many 'puzzled' looks and well-told lies after, she finally gave in. Haha.

She 'hid' my slippers on the ledge near the bathroom window.

can't believe i missed that. Hah.

happy eighteen to me! (:

WOW. got nothing else i can think of to say but WOW.

haha.

I'm lost for words too touched by the love everyone has shown me this birthday even though i'm away from home.

let's see...

it started yesterday 24th sept lik jin, darren, billy n i went to have lunch with june ping and zhi ying. It was supposed to be a surprise for june ping and we sort of celebrated our birthdays together. It was fun haha ate at Xin Wang at Cine, Hong Kong food as recommended by Billy (:

I was late though cos i had to meet uncle David, my mom's colleague who was here in SIngapore. He came all the way from tampines to meet me near heeren to pass me my birthday gift!! Which also included the chocolates my mommy sent from accross the border (:

My family called me to wish me an early birthday too!! (:Then Lik Jin, June Ping, Zhi Ying n
Michele came to give me early bday greetings n gifts!! (:

very much later on......

the clock struck 12 and i didn't even realise it till my roommates chu hui and rachel came and wished me a happy birthday and gave me my bday pressies haha!! (: Then wah suddenly my phone was vibrating with loads of text messages with birhtday wishes from friends back home and friends here too!!

and then one pleasant surprise followed another....

Allen called and asked me to look under my pillow haha Rachel helped him put it there for me it's my first bday surprise-- a book! (A walk to remember)...so sweet haha!!

almost immediately after that zhao xing my kai gor called from all the way back HOME!! haha (:
He called to wish me a happy birthday and yeah we talked talked talked til it was past 1am lar!

Hahaha and finally i prayed n went to sleep.

Next day we have school. HAh I nearly couldn't wake up.

But went to school just like any other day, did my quiet time in the morning and also prayed for my ultimate birthday wish - that I may be changed inside so He can use me more effectively in His Kingdom (: Thank you Lord for creating me! (: Dedicating my eighteenth year to Him (:

There was no PE today. Prolly cos of the rainy weather and also cos it was CCA record checking day (: Went to shower with wan wei n ren xin after that anyways (:

Haha, and then the funny part came...

Ren xin showered so quick she left early and told us to take our time. Wan wei and I talked a lot in the shower room haha den we decided it was time to go to ohana... den ren xin came running towards us and asked wan wei why she didnt pick up her call she was trying to get her haha.
Den wan wei suddenly said that she "left her bottle" in the shower room and asked me to accompany her back. So we did! and we couldn't find any 'bottle' haha. We went back to ohana and this time alvin came up front to ask wan wei about some CCA records thing. Haha, apparently he had some 'events' that were not listed and they went on and on about which teacher to look for and what deadline and stuff. Haha I was very amused (as much, if not more, than wan wei i must say)...alvin and CCA events haha... and then wala! The cake was laid out and candles lit and my classmates beckoned me to go over haha i could see the look of relief on both alvin and wan wei's face haha.

and lo n behold! I had a giant fudgy wudgy chewy gooey brownie for my birthday cake!! Must have been Ren Xin's idea haha and yeah sang song n blew candles n stuff and wah the special part came after that... my classmates sat me down with Justin's PSP and played me a video... a video they specially made for me!!!! OMG.

haha i was laughing SO SO SOOOOOOOO hard my sides hurt like MAD. and tears were coming out of my eyes (i dunno if i was touched or if i was laughing too hard). WaLau they actually spent the whole day before 'filming' and 'editing' and puting the video together (Justin practically didn't sleep cos he was busy editing!!! omg omg omg) Haha. will load the video on the blog soon!! (: HAHAHA IT'S SUPER GOOD and super touching i was really realllly moved it's like one of the best pressies i've ever recieved in my life haha!!!

and one of the BESTEST EVERRR GIFTS i received was... guess what? Ren Xin's prayer for me (: She prayed a birhtday prayer for me!!! Which she syas she prepared and rehearsed haha wahlau but it was so natural n sincere and wah!! (: heart melt. (:

Anyway, jia le gave me the 'book' he wrote for me for my birthday walauu i'm so gonna treasure it (and not to mention copy all his nice phrases and sentence structures to use for my chinese essay hahaha) and it was entitled 'wo de ye man da jie da'===> .my sassy big sister' haha!!! He even drew the cover page lar walau haha!!! (:

Then after that we (Jianwei, renxin, alvin, peng ming, jia le, xin jie, bok) went for class and went for lunch and movie at cine. Watched the banquet today. Hahaha we took neoprints and ended up 10 minutes late for the show. Super fun lar haha come to think of it i don't know why I laughed so much so hard at everything they said and did. Super funny bunch of ppl la. (esp peng ming, he STUNNED us with his wise cracks again and again today). oH and we presented Ren Xin with the ballerina necklace I saw that day and COULDN'T RESIST buying then i realised i couldn't afford it after that and so i got everyone to chip in :P) Haha. Anyway bout the show, I think it's very artsy. Prolly why some of the audience laughed at the most wrong of times lar wahlau, atomosphere kinda ruined. But personally, I liked the show. (Will talk more bout it in the next blog post)

Oh MaN!! after that i was late for my dinner date with my roomies at chomp chomp. They were already there when my movie ended!! So i rushed to Ang Mo Kio MRT and jia le my guai xiao di, accompanied me on the bus no.73 all the way to chomp chomp. He kept saying he didn't know where he could alight haha but even i'm not stupid enough to believe that haha he just feels that i'd definitely get lost if i were to go alone ahaha. So much for faith in me lar. Haha, but that was very sweet of my xiao di (: thanks jia le! and wala I finally reached the place and YAY i saw my roomies!!

Ran over there and plonked my butt right down on the seat next to chu hui.
They got up immediately and was bout to walk away. Haha and then they laughed and sat back down again. Haha i apologised for being so DARN LATE!!! and wah they left me food lar super touched (: And we talked and talked and talked and went on to desert wanted to buy them ice kacang but kwang ying was faster than me. Haha. Then da pao -ed popiah for zhi ying and michele and we were on our way home....

and YAY! HADY WON!! (:

ahaha and yea we took bus back and met jason when we came in and he gave me bday gift wishing me happy bday (: And then went back to the room and saw something hanging from the door knob it's a note n a gift from christine!! (: and then renxin came and passed me su inn's gift and u know what!!! AH-NIU album!! She helped my tou dai lup wai buy it for me so sweet right!!(:

and then Jingjie called and they have tai yong and wan lin and kuan chin on conference call. I didn't know at first then they sang me 'happy birthday'altogether haha!! (: The school prayer group (:

Then it was present opening time and ms Chin Yee came in to give me something and wish me happy birhtday too! SOO SOOO SWEEEET!!! (: She's like the best AHM ever lar haha. Gave her a BIG hug (:

And that was about it i'm just bout done with my birhtday and i wanna thank:
my friends back home (Lup Wai, Foogie, Lohon, Zhao Xing, Quin Er, Ken Ling, Hui Zhian, Ivan etc) for remembering my birthday

my friends overseas (Jess, JSOH, ooi yong etc) too

my roomies (kwang ying, chu hui and rachel) for bearing with my lateness (Haha now i have a
spongebob soft toy named BOBBY new addition to 6-03)

my classmates (3205) for the most memorable birhtday ever haha

special thanks to RENXIN who gave up watching smallville for ME!!! (: She did so much! (:

and to everyone i mentioned just now and WAH!!

MOST IMPORTANTLY
THANK YOU GOD!!! FOR CREATING ME!!! and 18 wonderful years You've give me (: All the blessings wah SO MUCH i can't contain it (:

randomness again.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Meiyan!

1. Scientists believe that meiyan began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas!
2. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that meiyan is near.
3. Banging your head against meiyan uses 150 calories an hour.
4. If you break meiyan, you will get seven years of bad luck!
5. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of meiyan.
6. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed meiyan would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used her to decorate their battle shields.
7. When provoked, meiyan will swivel the tip of her abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at her attacker!
8. Meiyan will always turn right when leaving a cave.
9. The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by meiyan!
10. Meiyan has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Wah. trivia no.10 is so so so so horrible.

bleh.

mugmugmug.

what are you doing looking at my blog?


















SHOO! go study lar.

(:

jiayou.
counting down:4days.4hrs.45 minutes.
hee hee.

randomness.

i LOVE oldham hall.

ok. maybe not the hostel itself. but the people. I sincerely mean that. (:

thanks to people like kuan chin, billy, renxin, june ping, ms chin yee, aunty linda (and her angelic kids Lydia Lisa n Lucas n the whole army of cutesy kids) and how could i forget... all my roomies!!! (: And so many others too esp the AJ (suewen michele zhiying christine arti chareli etc etc etc even the guys lar hahahaha) n IJ...jason allen touty etc ppl too!

it really feels like home!! (:

Guess that's prolly why even the pythons n snakes patronise our homely turf. Haha. Soaking up the excitement i expect. But Christine says they're deaf, so they can't hear us all in the A2 clusters screaming n running about hahaha.

love love love.

(:

the horribble irony of life.

what is the worst irony of life? the most horrible one of all?

so near, so close, yet so far.

I used to think I have a big heart. Now I realise all i had was a big head, full of air. You'd be appalled if you knew the real me.

And I thought I understood people. Nope. Not at all. Not even the slightest bit.

I don't even understand myself, but one thing's for sure.

to those who don't know yet, i'm highly INSENSITIVE. (Left renxin to go back alone today, I know she doesn't mind but I just realised how selfish it was of me). i will never know what you're really thinking until you tell me directly, in my face, please. Send me an sms and I still might not even get it.

I'm sorry for everything. Sincerely I am.

Maybe you want distance from me. I don't know. Or maybe it's just the annoying part of me you cannot stand. I'll change, I promise. You probably want to keep your distance. And yes I finally realise how rude it is to ask where you went again and again. That's why I never do anymore.

Remembered all the good memories of J1 life this morning. Especially the study sessions before promos, nearly everyday after school, and those bus rides back. And those highly underdressed, but happy trips to orchard. I cried. I never realised I had so many to cherish and I realised again how much people around me love me, so much so that I'm spoilt by it. And how much you (all) had to put up with to make me feel loved. But I don't want to be kept from the truth anymore, the truth of how you feel, of how really difficult it is to be my friend.

Aiks.

Maybe I think too much. Over-complicate things.

I don't know lar.

talk to me.

i was so sick and tired of studying at one point yesterday i just sat in front of my computer and waited for someone to send me a message on MSN messenger.

seems like everyone was busy so i just sent messages to a few of them. and they never replied so i decided to go and sleep, leaving my computer on.

the next day i woke up i had 11 messages! From the least likely of people sumore, people like jit han, cow, etc etc etc. And yep they all only messaged me after 12 some as 'early' as 3:45am. Haha.

God knows what they're doing up at that time. Mugging prolly?

Bleh.

Fraility.

have you ever watched 'the Hours'?

Yeah that show with Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and the lot.

I still wonder why Laura, the pregnant wife in the show, wanted to do herself in (not to mention the baby). She had it all, didn't she? The perfect home and family. Was it her neighbour that day? The fact that she brokedown and told of her illness?Just a spur of the moment?

and Virginia? the estranged author who wrote 'Mrs.Dalloway'. but that I could understand. It's difficult living to please those around you. She had a choice though, didn't she? Why didn't she get on the train to London?

and Clarrissa and the party she wants to throw for her dying friend and poet, Richard. Why did the party matter so much?! And what's stopping her from being true to herself? She could've chosen to be happy.



Grr. I find it puzzling. Humans, such irrational, complex beings.

I think we're not capable of handling our own lives. We never know what's best for ourselves no matter how wise we think we are.

Or maybe I just haven't seen enough of life (and death) yet. No maturity of thought you say. maybe. I dunno.


Sigh.

faith.

matthew 6:33

Following God is so not a bed of roses.
Serving Him takes tremendous sacrifice, faith, and a cheerful heart that's right.
It's so difficult!
But if God says you can move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed then, i guess, you can. you definitely can.

I'm gonna go for it this time. I hear God calling me out of my comfort zone. I feel his good work starting in me, equiping me for the bumpy ride ahead. And yes, most importantly the heart. He's softened my heart yet put determination in me that I never knew I had.

Whatever He calls for, He provides for.

I'm gonna stretch my faith this time, i'm letting go, letting God, taking the plunge, risking it all, leaning totally on His strength and knowing in my heart that He'll pull me through. Meanwhile I'll jump off this edge, flap my wings like mad, and trust that His grace is sufficient for me. (:

Haha, so sorry for the funny imagery. That's really how it feels like now in my heart.

Tif needs a cell group helper and finally, for the first time in my life, I'll be serving in a ministry. God's timing is 'impecable' i must say. Haha. You can trust that He'll never make it easy. Of all the times He's calling me NOW. When the A levels are so near i can smell it. When my chem is at F standard and I need nothing less than a C for prelims in 3 weeks time. Gosh.

But I will not be shaken by circumstances!! My strength is in Him. And yes, I haven't felt such peace, and joy, in a long time. Thank you Jesus.


Give me faith, more faith. (:

random.from taiyong's blog

The reason why we often read nice-looking sentences in itialics, thinking that they're some famous individual's quote, is that they are made to look special. And if you think about it, this particular set of itialicised words are kind of lame.

"T. Y. Foong"


Slow to learn their lesson are the ones who read this second line.
"Un-famous Author"


All hope is lost! Weird are those who never learn their lesson, because they keep reading nice-looking, itialicised sentences."
Now Infamous Writer

true friends are hard to come by.

I'M SORRY EVERYONE.

i forgot that alarms ring even when phone's turned off.
i can't believe that happened in an ACTUAL A level exam.
this is the most difficult listening compre i've encountered in my life.
i'm really sorry i disturbed everyone's chain of thoughts.
grrr.

anyway, been nostalgic of late.
i don't wanna live in the present. future's good too. anything but the present.

God be with me, please.

poems

The Night Has a Thousand Eyes
The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

francis william bourdillon

---------------------------------------------

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Raph Waldo Emerson

---------------------------------------------

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley-but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.
If you can't be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can't be a muskie then just be a bass-
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can't all be captains,
we've got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here,
There's big work to do,
and there's lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.
If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of whatever you are!

-Douglas Malloch

byebye. don't you understand?

Today was the last day of our SL (Service Learning) project. After a 4 day 3 night camp, 10 sessions over 10 weeks today is our last day at the Jurong Minds School.

And well, after those weeks dragging our feet to come for our sessions i would definitely say we never regretted one moment of it.

To be honest, the first day i came i was shocked. The kids were so different, and what's worse, they didn't seem to know that they were different. They were really living in oblivion of their condition.

But as we warmed up to them, we realised they really actually know more than what we think they know. Watching them play captain's ball today, I really felt like we've come a long way. Felt so proud when nasar, probably only 10, managed to intercept the ball and snatch it away from other kids twice his size, and keeshaw, made spectacular snatches (then throwing them away in panic), crystal scored throughout, Fahanah never missed a chance to say OUT when the ball went out of the sidelines, Fauzi, weng kiang and weng hiang played their hearts out too.

And I just realised how irritating i must have been coz i kept shouting from the sidelines 'se xin CATCH!, shu jun RUN! crystal PASS THE BALL! Bawal block! Kok pang defend!', don't think they heard me actually. Haha. I really really hope they win during the sports carnival next saturday, most importantly i hope they play their hearts out, full of the confidence they have now (:

We really didn't think they'd understand goodbyes or even know how to react to farewells but when kah mun told them it was our last day today, some of them went 'why'? and they really actually looked sad. Some even shouted 'take picture!!', and that's precisely what we did (:

doesn't it make you wonder though?

What will become of these kids who don't know better? Who may never come to understand salvation, that Jesus died for them? Will we see them in the kingdom of heaven?

Anyway, that aside. I got back my results for midyrs.

Math - E
Chem - O
Chinese - B
Econs - B
GP - B4

it's quite horrible really. God please help me :(

Oh and Italy beat france. :(

that was my guess before the game started and during the 1st half even, but france definitely dominated the 2nd half and even the extra time but it's really just their luck that henry was injured, ribery was subbed out and zidane, zizou oh zizou.

no one knows what he was thinking when he rammed his head into Matarazzi's chest, but i guess that's just how most great people want to be remembered.

'Better to burn out than to fade away'...

this world cup was really entertaining though. Some goodbyes too.

Nakata's retiring at 29 and going to Harvard Business School. :(

ok anyway gtg study now

midyears over (: hee hee.

yay.

it's over!

it ended yesterday actually. Overall I think it was okay considering the little time i had to study. Thank God definitely. He's pulled me through it all. (:

Chem was an exception though. It was utterly horrible. I think i left a whole Section out. Section B worth 40 marks i just left it next to blank and i just stared blankly at the paper for 20 minutes when i saw the questions. Ergh. I somehow have the feeling that the chem teacher behind the paper is smirking with saddistic satisfaction.

Anyway went out with Ren Xin and Christine yesterday to Spizzas. Haha. The fancy pizza restaurant just opposite our hostel. It was our first time there! And we totally made a fool out of ourselves what with our sloppy shorts n baggy tshirts and flip flops and especially our constant laughing at anything even those not even remotely funny. We even went to Takashimaya's food corner and had ice-cream, as well as window shop for food. (: Chocolates, Brownies, Cheesecake and the like (:

Had the time to pray more this morning. and clean the room today. (Seriously like a pig sty). Sorted out my papers n files and changed the bedsheets, did the laundry, sunned my blanket, tiggie and ah choo, vacuum cleaned and mopped the floor wow. Finally (: My room is in optimal living conditions again.

awww.

oh well. Japan is out.

That was expected anyway, how could they have even dared to even dream to be able to beat Brazil. But they dreamt anyway and for a fleeting moment there it seemed wildly possible. Tamada's goal was good no doubt bout that, but Brazil totally dominated the game la. Anyway Japan didn't really play as well this time round if u ask me. But again i don't know much bout football haha.

Think kawaguchi, Japan's goalkeeper definitely deserves some credit.
He's got talent la remember the tremendous saves in the first half of the Australia match and the unbelievable blocks. 5 in a row! By not just anyone but the terribly dangerous Brazilian stars. But the thing with goalkeepers is, you cannot afford to make any mistakes. Guess he committed one too many. Esp in the australia one. After that 1st mistake everything just fell apart.

aNyway kawaguchi's only 31, he may still come back in 4 yrs time hee hee. if japan qualify.



















(photo originally from FIFA)


Overall I think Japan was quite a disappointment. :( Brazil totally destroyed them and i still think the Australia match was a disastrous mistake. Hopefully we'll see these guys again:















Goalless one this was. But I guess Nakata did ok in the croatia one. Much better than the 1st.
Thank God he's only 29 should be able to see him again. yay!

Nakamura was good too poor thing didn't get a shot for man of the match and again, tamada's goal was superb laa. Inamoto hmm, did he even play this time? REally didn't hear bout him at all :(

Ganbate! Japan's got a LOONG way to go.


and the REAL heartbreaker comes in the south korea - switzerland match. It looked as if they had REALLY good chances to go through. But I guess anything can happen.

As opposed to Japan i seriously think Korea has IMPROVED. But without the home ground advantage and luck on their side (ok maybe a bit with the france game) this was as far as they could go. Loved their never-say-die spirit (except after that OBVIOUSLY offside goal the flag was raised CLEARLY la). I don't blame them though, they did their best. and its so sad would really have wanted to see more of them korean players.

Lee Woon Jae, the goalkeeper and captain was good if u ask me haha. He's very steady. He's 33 this yr i really hope he'll be back next time round.





















Think he did great as a captain too.

Anyway good goalkeepers are old right? hee hee. Isn't oliver kahn ancient already.
















And Park Ji Sung was good in that France match. That equaliser was really crucial. But I dunno he seemed kinda invisible otherwise. He never lacked stamina that's true but really would've liked to see more of him.















Okay. Apart from the fact that he's one of the VERY few cute guys on the korean team, I think he deserves credit too. Ahn Jung Hwan the super sub. Will never forget his heroic goals against italy and this time, the winning one against togo. Think he really has that drive. Should let him play more ma. haha. Again, he's ONLY 30. REally really hope he'll make it next time round, and hope he improves n gets a place in the starting 11.















this guy is really what Korea needs more of!! LEE CHUN SOO.
He was relentless in all the matches especially that last long drawn battle against switzerland. He was the one pushing forward and being erm potentially dangerous. And let's not forget he did score the equaliser against togo. Poor thing i think he would've gone far and he deserves way more credit than what he has now. But again he's only 29. Will really really hope to see him next time round (:

There are also others like Lee Young Pyo, Cho Jae Jin and Kim Nan II who did well too if you ask me. Ok Cho Jae Jin had this really sulky face all the time and it was kinda irritating haha. But Kim Nan II is a good defender haha. Another relentless one.

Ooh and that kid Park Chu Young. Poor thing i really think he could've done more if given time. He's still young la and i really hope there's more to come from this so called football genius. His world Cup debut this time round wasn't that impressive. But i have faith for more.

Aiya anyway. So so sad.

bUt maybe that's God saying 'meiyan you gotta study!!' haha. Oh well no more korea n japan matches, one less distraction, can study more :P

girls rule.heh.

Thank God for girlfriends! (:

At least i have some things to look forward to in between studying hehe.

Last few days we've been sitting around in the pantry talking and gossiping after dinner... we even baked apple cake! Ms Cheryl, our AHM, said it was nice (: And well yeah, it was. We wanted to watch football (s.korea vs france) at 3am that day together. We asked for permission and got it but it wasn't showing on either of the channels our hostel tv could recieve. So yeah i watched it online alone. :(

Anyway they drew 1-1!!! France definitely had it in them to beet Korea but yeah it's true they threw it away in the 2nd half especially. Thierry Henry is a huge threat grr. Zidane too but he looks obnoxious :S But Koreans they really put up a good fight. YAY! hehe. them koreans are tremendously lucky i must agree (that ball definitely went over the line) but their fighting spirit is admirable. They deserve it if u ask me. But don't ask me i'm biased. Haha. GO KOREA! (:


Picture originally from the official FIFA website

A forlorn Barthez and an elated PARK JI SUNG!
hehe. this shadowy figure really came back to action in this match. Kudos!

Aiya they should've subbed Ahn Jung Hwan in earlier. Only one free kick for him not much he can do lar...




Aiyo dunno lar. dunno wat to post now. just feeling bored. Michele, Sue Wen and Zhi Ying just went out this morning to sim lim square to get michele's memory card. Then went for lunch and we just finished one tub of Ben N Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream! (: It's absolutely heavenly i must say.

Anyway its real quiet now in my room. Kwang Ying's not here. I miss my kichi.
Oh btw these are pictures of us when i went back to meet her during the holidays (:

quick update!

studying's been okay i guess, considering i only started on thursday.

what i've done so far:
1. trigo
2. differentiation
3. chemical energetics
4. role of government part 1

oh man. i have a LONGGGG way to go... God help me!
progress has been slow, as usual, but steady lar. slow and steady wins the race haha.

anyway, yesterday was a rest day for me.

Went jogging with June Ping at 7 in the morning!

And wow. We have quite a nice neighbourhood i must say (:

i think i'm starting to like running more n more.

but i twisted my left ankle twice. but that's okay. haha, didn't even stop my running.

the killer came when i was walking on the rocky carpark whilst talking to june ping. See it's always important to FOCUS!! I must've looked so stupid coz i was like 'so how did you find out about this route ar june pi- ARGH! AIYA PAIN PAIN!' We weren't even running we were STROLLING and i sprained my right ankle!

I went back n laid hands on my right ankle and prayed over it. It still hurts though but at least i can walk normally. By His stripes I am healed!

Anyway i went to church after that. Had bible study and service.

Then went to city hall to meet up with Arti, Ren Xin, Chareli, Zhi Ying, Christine, Carmen and her friend (i don't remember her name). We ate at analakshmi.

It's an indian vegetarian restaurant run by a wealthy indian family. They do this for charity though. You go there, help yourself to the indian vegetarian buffet and pay whatever you want. And from what i see, i think people pay a lot. Nice ambience btw. The proceeds go to people in India suffering structural unemployment, i.e. those left jobless in the face of globalisation. Noble, noble cause. The food was not bad, and i paid 7 dollars. which is not bad lar (it was all i had in my wallet)

But most importantly i miss the companionship (: It was so much fun just us 8 gals talking and laughing (i tell you we were the loudest table). What do u expect when we have the CARMEN CHING at our table. Haha. It went on on the bus. We were making so much noise and doing so many funny things that people were staring. Haha but it was a blast!

Anyway that's all i have for now. tonight i'm gonna MUG like never before!!

oh but there's the Japan vs Croatia match at 9pm tonight. And S.Korea's playing at 3am!
HOW COULD THIS BE?! GRRR. Both Japan n S.Korea on the same night?!

Anyway i hope and pray that Japan redeems themselves this time round!! Nakata do something at least! haha
And S.Korea all the waaaayy!!! Let Ahn Jung Hwan play! Haha. Sure win! :P
I hope France repeats their FLIP FLOP of their opening match of World Cup 2002.

Oh and HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!! (:
My dad supports Japan and South Korea too. In these 2 matches at least. I'm sure of it haha.

bye bye... again.

i hate goodbyes.

no, i don't hate it because i won't be able to see them all for the next half a year; rather i just hate the awkwardness of the 'moment'.

You know, when lup wai and foogie dropped me off at my home. Yeah, i just got out of the car, said goodbye and thank you and went for the doorbell. Short and sweet.

I dread those few moments before boarding the bus back to the land of the kiasu. Those moments just seem to stretch through eternity. Not that it's really sad or anything it's just... i really don't know how to react to my family. "So... won't be seeing you for the next half year already...sigh....", or "So how do you feel".... how am i supposed to respond to that?!

No awkward hugs, no weird 'i love you's, no sudden burst of tears --- that's how i hope tomorrow will be. Just brief goodbyes and a smile. Buh bye! It's not like i'm going for eternity!!

anyway.

This holiday has been quite a nice one.

One week - short though it may be, i managed to study a tiny fraction of chemistry in the midst of my 14 hour tv marathon (Yes, precisely my waking hours). Yipeee!!! (:

Managed to meet wan qian (whom i last met in december 05), and the new guy in her life - Danny. I must say i'm impressed (: Lucky you wan qian, Danny passed my test with flying colours haha.

Not to mention ming shiu (whom i last met over a year ago). My darling has found a darling of her own already... Richard. haha. 2 years ago i wouldn't have believed it possible. Lesson to learn: don't resolve to hating anyone, you may very well end up with that particular someone few years down the road.

Yee wah too! she hasn't changed much though, still the spunky one i know (:

Lup wai and foogie: my favourite 'toudai's.
We went out just now to watch some lantern exhibition thing and took lots and lots of pictures, after which foogie drove me and lup wai back. I laughed myself silly at foogie's singing (don't get me wrong he's got talent that boy) and moaned and groaned over S. Korea's plight (0-1 down to Togo in the first half of the match --- Japan already lost terribly LAHH!!! walau grrr.). They tried cheering me up with those silly photos we took. What a bunch of posers! Haha. My kind of fun :P

How could i forget: My kichimayom Manpreet!!!! (:
I miss you sooo soooo much!! Haha thanks to her i had my first birthday present this year already. Anyway we had so much fun just talking n laughing and girl chatting all the way to Sunway Pyramid on thursday didn't we? (:

Lohon, Zhao Xing n Ivan too!! (ss2 gang n fellow pJ santas)
Miss you all much. So sad we couldn't spend more time. :(

and of course my family. Loved the secret recipe cake. Happy birthday and father's day papa. (Yeah i'm leaving for singapore on my father's birthday :S). Oh n i helped my brother with add math, took him out to watch X-men3, paid for his McDs order and bought him a digi simpack as brought him his phone. (you owe me) and Mommy. Wow i really do miss shopping with the mom. Hope i've stocked up enough this time (:

ok well toodle-loo. (:
i will be back.

homeward

goodbye all!

thanks my dear roomie kwang ying for helping me to stuff everything into my wardrobe and luggage bag (: who needs boxes? couldn't have done it without u haha.

love. love. love.
God fill my household with love before i go home. (:

ok well bus leaves at 4.30pm tomorrow.
sorry pre u sem group 8 :(
PLs pls pls have another outing i miss you all to bits n pieces :(

to tiff-ah-nee: keep in touch!

c ya! (:
happy holidays.

a tribute

goodbye aaron wong yu long.

sorry your gifts were less recognised. i'm sure someone else will appreciate it someday. (if they live long enough)

haha. just some pictures i don't think you've seen before, the good ol' times haha.

will miss all da whacky moments. muahaha.

all d best in ur future undertakings and GOD BLESS YOU aaron wong.

keep in touch!

orange + green = heaven

i LOVE my new blog skin (:

God bless the guy who designed this.

haha.

anyway, i'd like to thank everyone for being so supportive n concerned bout what i posted. (The long one with me being emo n stuff). I'm sorry for making you all worry but i'm alright now like really!! (: will try not too rant too much (not publicly at least) in the future. anyway. love you all.

*snuffles*

all good things come to an end.

i can't believe it but i'm actually missing pre u sem! it was a great experience all in all and i learnt so much!! Especially from my seminar group members and SLOs. I miss you all! Yes all 19 of you (20 including melissa). What a RANDOM bunch of people. A very good mix i should say haha. Anyway hope to meet up soon.

e314 multiplied today.

somehow i expected it la. i was definitely going somewhere else. i knew it. and it happened.
not much change actually. Jie kai was moved to sis yu ling's cell; me, weixian, alex, andrew, geraldine, huiqi and a few younger kids from sis yu ling's cell formed a new group with tiffany --- e413. Others stayed, e314 remains.

At first i felt nothing. Then everyone became teary eyed and ahhh!! just couldn't stand it. went round hugging everyone and wiping off those dreaded tears. Huizhen said its for the best, she says she needs weixian n i to communicate with the younger ones. She somehow thinks we have it. I hope she's not wrong i'll miss everyone lar.

But i guess God has His plans. (deep breath)

"He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Eccleciastes 3:11)

only time will tell.

reality check.

"Lord of all creation,
of water earth and sky,
the Heavens are your tabernacle,
glory to the Lord on high

God of wonders beyond our galaxy,
you are holy, holy,
the universe declares our majesty,
you are holy, holy.

Lord of heaven and earth,
Lord of heaven and earth...

Early in the morning,
I will celebrate the light,
When i stumble in the darkness,
I will call your name by night,

God of wonders beyond our galaxy,
you are holy, holy,
the universe declares your Majesty,
you are holy, holy....

Lord of Heaven and earth,
Lord of heaven and earth.

Hallelujah, to the Lord of heaven and earth...

Precious Lord reveal your heart to me,
you are holy, holy,
the universe declares your majesty,
holy, holy, holy"

God of wonders - Third day

In this blogpost i will attempt with all my might to reflect HONESTLY on my walk with God since i got here.

Last year when i came to Singapore i was excited for one thing: I could start my life all over again in a place where few knew me. I decided to dedicate this new life to God, to doing His works.

Aaron (woon) told me that there is a church here called City Harvest which is apparently a VERY VERY good church. Too bad it's so far. THen, by God's divine grace i guess, i met jing jie and he brought me to CHC. First svc i admit - i was in awe. I have yet to see such passion, such energy packed in a relatively small church space 4 floors down in the basement. You'd think it started on ground level and them youth church goers were the ones who jumped and praised God and drove it 4 floors down into the ground. Haha. There was such fire. Huizhen, the cell group leader welcomed me and so did e314 (my cell group). And it was CHC all the way.

I was so pumped up i jumped at every opportunity to serve God. So excited with my new bible reading plan, it felt as though i was born again, again. It takes me 1 hour to get from my hostel to church, and another 1 to huizhen's house for cell group but it all felt worth it.

I wanted to join ODAC (Outdoor Activities Club) but i heard the commitment level required was really high so i opted for a milder version - the Boys' Brigade (and it's a christian uniform group all the better!). It didn't matter that BB was considered an external CCA.

Everything was just rosy (aside from the homesickness). I was still the new girl in class, and i felt really out of place in a school that was so boring it made me cry (literally). The only thing keeping me in Singapore is church (no understatement there).

I grew (spiritually) like never before. Let's just say CHC really imposes spiritual discipline (which is good). I grew in that half a year faster than i ever grew in my life. I was praying and reading the bible and being touched by God constantly.

Met this guy daniel at a BB leadership course. Barely knew him but he seemed friendly enough so i brought him to church!He brought a friend, samuel, too. I prayed for him, e314 did too. We wlcomed them, did the follow ups and was hoping for God them to be saved. For weeks they came to church when we asked them and it all seemed like it would work.

The promo exams were drawing near and being 5 months behind everyone else it was really against the odds that i would do well enough to stay here. I prayed and prayed even more. I was really close to my cell group mates. e314! encouragement letters here n there. It seemed so easy to pour out my emotions and thoughts on paper and share with others all the time. Nearly every week at cell group i raised my hand to share a testimony.

God is good he gave me all Bs for my promos, way better than what was required for me to stay here. And i took it as an assurance of what God has in store for me.

After promos I had an opportunity to help organise an evangelistic BBQ. Teamed up with wee yang jie kai and aaron. I really got close to them during this period of time. It was really fun too. (Remember shopping at NTUC with asupertight budget and having to carry a watermelon home haha, oh and the rubber duckys and funny hats at toys 'r us.) We fasted a lot during this time and prayed. (Oh yeah i've never experienced fasting before til i came here) I was also reading 'out of the saltshaker and into the world' in hopes of winning over daniel and sam once n for all. Ironic though. It seems i'm doing so so much for God but in essence i'm drifting away. I fasted a lot, but prayed little. hElped out in the BBQ but didn't seek God to be Lord over it. Dan and Sam came but it was the most awkward BBQ i've attended. It went okay, don't get me wrong. But God just wasn't there.

The year ended with a bang and i went for Temasek cAMP as well as went home. THings changed.

Throughout the year end holidays my bible was collecting dust. As i reached home, familiarity sank in and i just chameleoned into my surrounding. Back i was in my comfort zone. Went out with friends whom i'd missed and drifted away from God. DOn't get me wrong. My malaysian friends are the most fun bunch ever, i love them so much but they're just not sons or daughters of God. Yes i missed the worldly fun. Camp Temasek kinda added to that too. mY priorities shifted.

went for YC camp. it was okay. but nothing really changed.

things at home seemed the same as before it was just more comfortable to slip into the meiyan everyone knew a year ago. and it remained that way.

year 2006 started and i was back in church in Singapore again.

huizhen said we'd stop following up on Dan and Sam coz they simply weren't responding. We'd pray though.

People left church. New people came in. Relationships changed. School work crept back in. I faded out of church and cell group.

At that point God is only present in 10-15 minutes of my day each day. The bible sorta became obsolete and yep i was feeling dry. But there was new hope though. Ren xin was coming to church. For a while it felt as though she'd stay. Like God has really called her in for good.

Then one day she responded to altar call and apparently she was filled with tears of joy being touched by the Lord. That encouraged my faith and really charged me up again.

Next day though she confessed she's still not too sure. after all the emotional turmoil i asked huizhen what to do we told her its normal for a new christian to doubt. renxin said ok. but the doubt never stopped and she faded out of church.

though i never showed it, it broke my heart and spirit. The fire was put out. The flame is gone.

my quiet time with God wasn't even a daily thing anymore.

suddenly i've grown to be much closer to my classmates and hostelmates this yr. I joined lots of things in school, library, interhouse drama cheerleading etc. and there was BBAQ to train for. there just wasn't time.

huizhen called to tell me she wasn't happy that i was skipping service for kayaking course. i explained that it was compulsory and i didn't see what the big deal was. I haven't missed any service before and it was only once. I nodded and said i was sorry though. I was such a hypocrite. From then on i really felt what God meant when He said sacrifice.

Sacrifice was never meant to be easy. It seemed easy previously so I guess this was the point where God starts to mean business. I felt more and more restricted by church commitments and the christian group in school too. meanwhile i was feeling inferior coz of my underacheivement in almost everything at school as compared to others. I felt i needed to do more. i joined more and more stuff in school. true enough i was near the edge of burning out.

School became interesting in a worldly kinda way. I knew more n more ppl, got closer to my classmates, laughed more, gossiped more. I felt i needed to switch into a totally different personality when it came to the christian group in school and in church. i felt like a hypocrite. i was one actually. God was virtually out of my life by then.

Huizhen never stopped telling me i had to let go, let go, let go and do more for God. She knew i was burning out so she stopped me from giving bible study to Alex. I wasn't doing a good job anyway. I never really did what i taught her to do. Never really prepared for lessons also. Good thing i guess.

then after AQ n after cheerleading and everything it became peaceful again.

i started to reflect more. Aunty Linda asked me, along with a few others, to join the hostel Christian Fellowship planning committee. Another chance to be involved - in a CF sumore. I felt i needed to do something for God so i joined. Aunty Linda's discipleship style reminded me bout my old church back in Malaysia and reminded how CHC was lacking in bible discussion and it was just 'yes' 'i agree' without objections or any thought for that matter. Then i thought of leaving church. more people left. I was still hanging there though. Just went for service and bs and cg like normal but without any expectation in my heart. But God was slowly coming back into the picture. (You can't possibly lead a CF wihtout at least spending some times with God)

GODD!!! i cried.

one thing i realised. no hyped up praise n worship or spirit filled guest speaker or energetic session had any impact on my spiritual life anymore. it was really between me and God. Now if i don't pray i'm aware of it. problem was i slipped in and out. I was conscious of what was wrong but i did NOTHING!!

but i couldn't stand it no more. THese few weeks in the light of the mlutiplying of my cell group i was thinkkng again. God i need you. Badly. And i hope it stays that way. Hunger don't go. God come and satisfy but make me constantly more hungry than before. don't leave me my life's a void.

cont'd

As expected, i never found the time to finish off that blogpost about AQ and now my memory of it is already blurry.

Haha anyway, in a nutshell: -

It started with a run... and eventually we slowed down and there was this guy who fell into the canal, bleeding n all. We were quite left behind coz we didn't really run anymore after that, till we reached the bike pick up point. Haha it was our hope really and we raced to be one of the first few teams. I fell halfway though, haha. I was trying to turn around to find Bess. But i got up in less than a minute and there we were --- whoosh! We even overtook a certain group, after which we were motivated to speed on haha. We were thriving! And the next stop was rapelling. I represented the group in rapelling and wow. It wasn't a bad experience at all, descending a real cliff is definitely much different from descending a 3 storey building. But the wait was so SO SO long that we eventually fell behind again. And it was off to the ferry station and to the 2nd leg of the race at Pulau Ubin.

It was the hiking leg.

Took a few long routes coz of misjudgement and we thought we couldn't make it at the final checkpoint coz we were only left with 20 minutes to go back out to where we started. Bess hurt both ankles and we couldn't really go fast. But Ming Hwee carried her bag and she ran anyway, just for me (: By some miracle, we made it through the 2nd leg and it was off to the 3rd leg. We had some hopes. Till a certain team caught up with us.

At the ferry terminal Bess couldn't go on any further. We sat down. It really felt as if we were defeated. According to my teammates later on, at that very moment i had a look of utter disappointment on my face. Haha now i understand why they made extra effort to explain to me why we can't run anymore. Bess' ankles were quite badly injuredd. It didn't make much difference in the end coz when we reached the starting point of the 3rd and last leg we had only 45 minutes left. That included archery, rock climbing and the last station ---kayaking - the station in whih our captain Mr Chew was stationed at. (Later on he expressed how he was met with disappointement coz his girls never appeared :( ) Anyway, that's where we stopped.

We could've done better, but we fought well.

BB Adventure Quest 2006 - Team 914! ACJC Primers (:

It's here, finally, AQ is here!

All those weeks of training, running, biking, orienteering, pioneering, kayaking, rapelling, rockclimbing, bike repairing... it all sums up to this.

Ok admittedly training was quite haphazard haha. Many didn't come for training, and yeah i didn't have full attendance either, been slacking for the last 2 weeks to add to that.

But come to think of it, the trainings seem to bear more fond memories than the actual AQ itself. I got to know the 12th BR Boys, and yeah i now have a changed perception of them (for better or worse i will not say haha). And especially my teammates, I got to see sides of them that i've never seen before, this one, for the better, i will say. (: Not to mention our trainers and instructors n officers Sir Ron, Mr Chew, Clement, Mr Victor, Mr Siow, Mr Lai, Ms Sharon etc who we couldn't have done without. And how could i forget the other team, team 915! I'm proud of u gals! The only all-girl team! Ur determination n encouragement for me, just wows me.

I've come to love all these people more I must say (:

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It was the eve of AQ. 9:00pm at the BRMC conference room.

12th BR AQ Boys team, Relay team, n us 2 open teams were seated on the floor with our backpacks, hydropacks, bike helmets, energy food etc... the place was quite a mess. Hectic last minute arrangements (surely someone would forget something), n last minute pep talk by sir ron. The route has been revealed! It all boils down to tomorrow's performance. The boys listen intently, and yes us primers too, excitement really starts to come. Haha.

After the pep talk, time seemed to fly. In a frenzy to pack bags and repair leaky hydropacks, we kinda lost track of time. Bedtime was initially set at 9 but we went down to the carpark at 1030 to pick our bikes and try them. After replacing helen's bike tyre n pumping everyone else's it was already past 11! Mr Chew n Sir Ron took over and sent the bikes to the drop off point. (The lorry's engine died though haha and they had a long night after that) We quickly went to sleep on the cold, hard floor. Could hardly sleep. But i prayed n managed to slip in and out of sleep.
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3am.

Sir Ron flung open our door and turned on the lights. Time to wake up. 5 minutes to wash up and it's warm up time. As usually, it stretched beyond 5 minutes and ron was evidently getting frustrated. We ran and stretched ourselves and had a power-packed breakfast haha. Bananas n cereals and bread n buns and this very peculiar drink that Mr Lai mixed up for us. (Waddaya know he's a PE teacher haha) - a mixture of red bull + 100plus + eno etc...

4am.

We board the bus. Excitement builds up as we sit in our teams.
Team 914 : Bess, Xin Hui, Ming Hwee and me
Team 915 : Helen, Kirsty, June n Geri (All girls n All foreigners team haha)
The boys sat in theirs too.

Ming Hwee, who's allergic to nuts, is not good with caffeine too i found out haha. He couldnt' close his eyes after he downed much of Mr Lai's strange energy drink. Oh n Bess took his Snickers Bars coz he couldn't take them nuts haha.

Ron goes on to give the boys one last pep talk. (We're not the stars of the day haha)

It was quite funny actually. Ron asked them all to close their eyes n visualise AQ.

"You run out of Temasek Poly, check the map and run, along the main road, following the crowd.... you see the bike station, you undo the chains, remember 012, and rush off... you approach the finishing line, you celebrate, you have tears of joy, you may not have won, but you've done your best..."

I must say, i've never heard the boys so quiet before.

"Ok let me ask you honestly", Sir Ron continues, "Who here thinks that they can make it, they can finish the race". Nearly everyone responded with a YES SIR!

He continued to ask "Who here thinks we'll be the champion".

Silence.

Haha. Yeah well it doesn't matter haha. Everyone knows that. 12th coy doesn't have a good track record of past AQ experiences. Just finish the darn race!

5am

We reach temasek Poly. Teams of AQ occupied the grandstand alr. The hype builds up again as everyone competes for the toilet and space to stretch.

6am

The map n checkpoint MGRs are given, everyone starts plotting and we compare ours with the boys'. You can't be too sure. Topo is everything in AQ haha.

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And the Boys' Team starts first. They're the real stars of the whole AQ and yes 12th BR has a proud representative team. Brian n Dalbert n Darren n Ivan. Haha, they're supposedly the strongest. We send them our best wishes and off they go.

15 minutes later....

Open Team (that's us) and the Relay Team start off together. One of them boys put an empty 100 plus bottle on the track with the hope that someone will trip over and they can have a headstart. Haha. It is april fool's day afterall.

We spot our competitors: Xin hui had said that our definition of winning this time would be to bean John's team (ex-acjc primer) -- it's a long story haha. Anyway yep, we see them. And don't like them at all.

The announcer is utterly surprised to note that "thre are ladies joining us this year!"

and BANG. off we go. it starts here (to be continued)
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"outta da big sky into da big sky country!"

well. oh man. i dunno where to begin haha i've missed so so so much.
anyway, it's 11.53pm friday night now. i've just finished bathing and am super tired.

remember the thing about the horrible drama audition?

somehow, by God's divine grace I was shortlisted to participate in the competition. So there it was. Renxin, shimin, wanwei and me joined the competition, representing Cougar house. Haha. We met very very interesting characters along the way, Yang Han, this China dude with a funny accent, Ching Yee, this super cute J1 gal who acted as a retarded 10 yr old, n Weiling, another J1 girl who depicted a distraught mother.

Under the guidance of our house facilitator - miss drama queen Xin Jie - we went through a week of gruelling practice, rehearsals, emotional turmoil and man, the drama. Haha. We went through it all not exactly smoothly, but we made it nonetheless. :)

At 6pm today we were all in the holding area Nexus waiting anxiously for Renxin our lead to come back from her dance practice. We were told to get into character and stop talking to each other but of course that was hard to do. Esp with shimin around. We tried though, and we managed to, a few times. We were the last group to go up and one by one the other teams vacated the room. Darkness fell. Literally. Time was running out. We were to be backstage next and renxin was not back. Finally she came back in hurried manner, tears streaming down her face. Yes, her dance teacher's quite the horrible character. Renxin was told off for joining dance n stuff n ya.

Well we were all kinda at a lost at what to do. We just tried to console her n get her back into character. THe other groups had like more than an hour to get themselves into character but Renxin oh man. She had to stop crying, switch her focus and get into character in less than half n hour. But she did it! Of course we prayed for her too haha.

If ur wondering what our play is about...

it's called 'Little Airplanes of the Heart'. Renxin plays sam, a 10 yr old boy who wants to build a plane and fly to Montana. That was initially his Uncle John's dream, but Uncle John died trying. His spirit lives on, and Yang Han, yes that China dude, plays Uncle John. Wanwei plays Sam's mother, who tries over n over again to make Sam act like any normal boy and for him to give up that seemingly crazy dream. Jilly is played by Ching Yee. She is Sam's cousin, Uncle John's daughter. Yes she's a bit retarded and tries twice to get Sam to play with her by offering to lift up her skirt and show him her underpants. (She wore Yang Han's the Simpsons' boxers on that day). Weiling plays Cheryl, Jilly's mom and distraught widow of Uncle John's. Shimin and I were sorta what u call 'ca-le-fe' (side actresses) but we put in our ALL. haha. and i think it turned out well. Shimin was Principal Becker and I was a rabbi ( a jewish priest) conducting an unneccesarily dramatic funeral for Uncle John.

I can tell you that the worst part of acting is before getting on stage. It's the butterflies in the stomach. The nerves. The crazy rushing abouts. The distracted mind. FOCUS FOCUS!! Easy to say hard to do. For me lar at least. Haha. Wow. I prayed i really prayed hard. I was just really afraid that i would laugh on stage coz yeah my one and only scene is supposed to make everyone laugh like mad. Minutes before we were to go on stage everyone was just going nuts. Suddenly staring blankly into one spot. Then at another time rehearsing lines, seemingly talking to themselves. And with other ppl. AIYO it was mad lar. Haha.

In the end we went up, brave and strong. As Xin Jie said, we go up, explode on stage, and leave. I think that was precisely what we all we did. Haha... I dunno why but audiences seem to laugh at most unpredictable moments. I was listening to it all from backstage and finally it was my scene. God help me.

I stood up on the chair. Lights came on. Uncle John lay in front of me with his leg up in the air. I breathed in and pushed his leg down. Then the 2nd time. Audiences laughed. I breathed in. And i started, "Vee may not know veeree 'ee izz, but like Joooo-nah, in zee' belly of zee' whale, 'ee will not ezzcape zee zight of God....." yep. there was a funny accent haha. I really did it as dramatic as i could and MIRACULOUSLY i was not tempted to laugh at all. Haha. I saw some familiar faces in the audience btw! :D haha. Aiya i gave it my all lar.

Everyone did well except that Uncle John couldn't unzip his jacket at the end to give it to Sam. The zipper got stuck haha. Oh yeah did i mention that of all days Yang Han twisted his neck during sleep today, on the performance day haha. Anyway we were SOOO relieved it was over. It ended with a tremendous line, Sam saying, " I know, but it's not the same." I think that was the winning line haha.

Prize giving ceremony. ALL actors were on stage and we were at the very last row so no one could really see us. But we were screaming all throughout. Screaming so loud that we couldn't hear what they announced properly. But one thing we didn't get wrong, RENXIN won best actress!!!! Haha and she did that by acting as a 10 yr old boy. When it came to the best performance, we were so excited, we didn't hear it properly. Shimin started screaming so I thought we won too and so did wan wei and we started jumping like crazy til Renxin said "aiya puma won lar". Haha, cougar does rhyme with puma, and jaguar for that matter too. Walau. Haha. Apparently they were the most popular group, the one with the most audience votes and i guess that really contributed a lot. They were kinda the underdogs coz Panther was supposedly the best house. Haha :P

Ah well. We did our best. Ren Xin got best actress. Xin Jie bought us McDs. What more could we ask for? Haha. :)

We're still the best!!! :D Haha.

Thanks EVERYONE who came to watch. Esp my beloved roomie and renxin's roomie who rushed down from their CCAs just to watch our performance. In the middle of my lines the ushers had asked my roomie kwang ying to move downstairs but she said to them, "can I move later?" just so she could watch my one and only scene. AHHH!! i'M SO touched i could cry. Li Ming and Kuan Chin and Sue Wen came too! And thanks to my classmates who came to support renxin and shimin and wanwei too! Jia Le and Jian Wei n Swee Kiong and Jing Jie etc. And to yi jet and hui yan who voted for cougar though they were cheetahs'. :p Oh and thanks kok yi, sir ron n so many others who wished me good luck even though i had only one scene haha. I LOVE you guys.

Most importantly, Thank God. I overcame tremendous nerve problems and came a long way.

In some ways, drama is like real life...

Though I am a 'ca-le-fe' in a drama centred upon someone else's life, God knows it means a lot to me. He is all the way there, with me backstage, behind the curtains, present in the audience cheering His head off for me. What matters to me, however small it may be, matters to Him, a great deal. :) I couldn't have done it without Him.

This whole drama adventure was God trying to tell me precisely that, that He's always there for me. All my petty failures and aspirations and unrealistic ambitions, however small they may seem in the eyes of the world, matter greatly to Him.

Praise Him Jesus forevermore.

Goodnight :)

ouch.

Sorry ppl, haven't been blogging lately... will continue the posting of pics after CNY: don't worry josh ur camp pics are sure to come up ;)

Anyway, to much has happened where should i start....

k. Thursday.
shimin, renxin, wanwei n i signed up for some inter house drama thingy in school and we had a screening on thursday. it was something like an audition where they made us... act. duh. everything was okay i guess til we had to come up front n talk until we were told to stop. then repeat what we said with a given character.

Shimin went up first - talking was no problem lar of course, problem would be whether they could get her to stop when she was told to. And then they made her act like some mentally ill patient - again, all she had to do was be herself. Then they made her act like a newly widowed woman. Wow. she did it very very well.

Ren xin, needless to say was SUPERB. haha no need elaboration lar.

Wan wei did great too! with her japanese rendition of geisha n acting as a 4 yr old bratty girl.

When it came to me somehow the world started to spin - everything happened so fast. I said some things really fast then i couldn't go on. And when the guy asked me to act like a prostitute i was just dumbstruck lar. I practically got into a nervous fit n laughed most of the time, mumbling some words along the way.

In a nutshell - i looked like a complete idiot.

Then he made me act like an old woman- same thing lar.

I dunno why leh.

I've never experienced such a degree of stage fright before.

Never in my life.

Not even during duet acting in form 3 or drama in form 4.

That screening was probably the worst of the worst. of the worst.

maybe i just can't act :/

that really got me thinking. and i realised it wasn't only that. everything in my life lately has been crumbling to the ground. Even if i looked cheery on the outside inside i was falling apart. I feel so far away from God.

Is God trying to get my attention?

That night i went back n slept through out study time, only to wake up at about 11pm.

I felt so empty inside, i felt so worthless. I'm a talentless, fickle-minded hypocrite. I started to hate myself.

Time and time again i know what i have to do and yet i dont' do it. Day after day after day and i waste my life away. Repented, reached out to God and yet i fall back.

This time i put aside 1 hr to seek God and read His word. I cried. I haven't cried for a long time. It felt good.

I haven't been spending enough time, doing enough to love God, myself and my family. I guess its time to start.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next day.

i got back my numerical methods test and i got 5 out of 14. I failed terribly. I'm starting to get accustomed to failure somehow. I felt crappy again but I desperately do not want to fall back. Not another second to waste. No time for self pity!

Watched renxin perform, cheered for her. Called ling na (my Chinese cell mate who has to stay in Singapore for CNY) to say goodbye. wRote a note for renxin n talked to sir sammy before i went to catch the bus back to KL for cny.

On the way out I was feeling better again (:

I met this uncle on the way to the bus stop and we started talking. Apparently he's a worker at ACS. He was real nice.

Anyway we went separate ways i took the bus then took the MRT to outram. But by the time i reached there i realised it was already 3:27pm! The bus leaves at 3:30!!!

Oh man. I prayed hard.

I ran up to the taxi stand and asked the man in front of me if he could let me go first. He let me go ahead straight away! Thank God.

At that very moment a taxi arrived and i hopped on without waiting. The taxi uncle said he knew where the stop was and he could take me there in a jiffy. PHEW.

so i asked, " uncle ar? how long more before we reach ar?"

he said, "very fast one, about half an hour".

OMG.

That was like the worst moment of my life. The bus company said it would leave at 3:35pm sharp! no more CNY for me...In the end it seemed like i wasn't gonna make it. My heart plunged. Then just at that very moment, the uncle said,

"aiya joking only lar. haha, 5 minutes can reach".

he even had the nerve to laugh.

I was dumbstruck. I just stared blankly i really dunno how to react but inside i was screaming AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the worst joke ever in history!

In the end, by God's grace, i reached at 3.34pm. Boarded the bus. Bumped into joleen. Phew.
tHAnk God! (:

That's all for now, Happy CNY!!

holidays december 2005

before i begin....

this is probably one of the best holidays i've had!!! wow.
btw - to everyone out there having photos of my christmas party and our absolutely WONDERFUL genting trip pls send it to me!! :)

my dear Quinee n me on genting skyway

someone's been waiting for this photo for a long long time. haha. Lester the HUNK.

the horrible state of my room - packing to go home

from my dear kichimayom - she's left :(

i miss you kichi.

all set and ready to go.

i'm home? already?

helped my toudai lupwai with his bio project. The best bug-catching experience of my life! (I caught a huge dragonfly!) :)

my other toudai - foogie. The jay chou crazy one.

from sir sammy of the accoms comm - BB camp temasek IV (one of the best camps i've been to!)

the beloved messy team :)

far left: the injured messy tim. aww.

chicken bones, messing stones, chicken stocks, messing rocks! :) messy outing.

messy kirsty n me :)

----------------------------------to be continued--------------------

bb day.

happy belated BB Day!!! :)

hehe. BB Day was yesterday but sadly to me it was just like any other day :(
being the only AC primer (and only girl primer, i do believe) in AJ... it really sucks :(

i thought you had to apply for permission to wear full BB uniform on BB day but it turns out some guy in AJ just went on ahead with it. hmm. Glad to know there are other primers around :)

anyway, coincidentally it was my BB Captain's birthday too! I told him i didn't wear full BB U to school and he called me chicken. Haha. Happy birthday Mr.Chew! :)

May I take this opportunity to appreciate my beloved BB captain.

No one knows why his BB company is 90% girls, but i do believe he's thankful for a bunch of sweet, motivated, enthusiastic, helpful, bubbly, cheery, and most importantly, smart, gals instead of yet another bunch of rotten Boys. Haha.( joking lar) Anyway, Mr.Chew's really good when it comes to matters of the heart and wow. He's just about as good as another girl friend to confide in. And he's super duper generous. Haha. He just loves us so much lar. I will always remember the time when he bought chicken rice for us in the middle of the night during temasek camp IV. :)

----That put aside, now is complaint time.

Aiyo i had 3 tests on BB day itself. So horrible!
I had chinese and math test during lecture periods respectively, had class all the way through to PE at 4.15pm. We were happiliy running our 2.4km, as mr.Sanusi had said that we were free to go after we finished. But it rained when we were into our 5th round. Oh joy! We were transfered to the school hall where mr.Sanusi made us do sit ups n jump ropes n push ups n all that rubbish till 5.15pm!

and GP test was at 5.30!! GP test was manageable lar actually, don't think i can score though, but omg, GP test ended at 7pm.

All J2s were rushing out to the mrt n the bus stations to get home after a long horrible day. Same went for me. I reached the hostel at 8 but thank God for my roomie who again saved my day by reminding me to pack my dinner. Haha i was so hungry i could've eaten a horse. :P

----------------today-----

went for gals' prayer meeting at tiff-ah-nee's house today. It was me, janis, tiffany, jessie, alex n geraldine. 1.5 solid hours of continuous prayer. WOW! Like tiffany said, it felt like the spirit person inside of us just went to the gym we felt so much stronger iniside! Haha. i feel muscly hehe. (i felt like i could do 10 i-pulls inside of me hehe).

anyway what i really really need this year is to be closer to God, and to grow in Him. AND I need to start doing that now! now now now!!! :( Life is short my dears. Don't take it for granted. I may not live to do something SUPERBLY HUMUNGOUSLY GREAT for God so i'll live everyday as if it were my last to be able to make a difference :)

----------------a lil' out of topic---------------------

blog more bout my 'brothers' ar anthony? haha. my pleasure :)

haha. yep those 2 tall guys with the funny faces are my 2 beloved 'tai kor's.(got no pictures of eric) Haha. my fav games group leaders who are absolutely horribly funny to core. Yep. I remember the 4 stages of making people laugh and i really do believe they've hit the 4th stage. They made me act like some crazy woman in the Spiderman scene where this horrible roadside singer-violinist is singing the spiderman theme song. And they started calling me crazy woman thereafter. Haha. But i can tell you that these 2 guys are just gifted in acting lar haha. The guy with the funny face, anthony, was mary-jane and the other one, aaron was spiderman.we didn't win that year though haha. This year though, aaron and eric's group won with their super creative TELEKOM ad, and yep he swept the best actor award sumore. Haha. It was really the best one i've seen yet. :) Anyway, these 2 taikors are great ppl who are ever willing to send a friend off even if they stay miles away, to borrow some person's car just to make sure they make it in time for dinner with a friend, to cry like girls when they send their 'brother' off, and would never hesitate to jump on a merry-go-round and have the most fun out of it, the fact that multiple pairs of eyes were staring wildly at them didn't seem to have bothered them. Haha. Great ppl. :)

--------------- out of topic again: my favourite pair of siblings in the world -------

Jiehan, me n Jiekai on the MRT. hehe. my favourite pair of siblings in the world!!

:P

But i think i like jie han more. Hehe. sorry jie kai. your little brother is adorable.

love revolution.

joyce meyers' message today at church was great!
wow. i really can't believe she's 62! she has so much energy in her, and God's spirit moves so powerfully in her!

i've really felt so far away from God lately. I just can't tell why. It's like my heart's not as soft as it used to be. I feel kinda numb sometimes. Quiet time has become obligation and i just don't feel the fire anymore. I sometimes don't even feel like bothering about the school n hostel prayer group, like "what's the point? i have homework to do no time for this..." ... But today's service has sorta poked me in the rib and remind me that it's MY RESPOSIBILITY to keep the passion going on for God! :) Her message was downright practical and the point was so clear cut:-

Love yourself and love life!

she mentions that we all have a relationship with ourselves! how much we love ourselves is somehow how much we'll end up loving others. In fact, you're probably not gonna like anything else if you don't love yourself. Get to know who you really are and stop trying to be someone else! Recieve God's love! If you're really filled with the Holy Ghost you should be happy! It's simple logic isn't it, we're guaranteed a place in heaven! Life on earth should then be a celebration shouldn't it?

and what better way to enjoy life than to love. She says she wants to start a love revolution, where everyone's drunk on God's love and the overwhelming love just flows outta you! There's so much power in the little things in life! There are so many opportunities that come by each day to do the little things for others that makes so much difference! Just like Jesus! Imagine having just been ressurected from death! And what does he do? He makes his disciples breakfast! The great n almighty God, in all his glory n splendour, makes his disciples breakfast with his holy hands! :) It's the little things that make us love Jesus so much isn't it? It's how he washes his disciples feet, how he stops to heal hurts and just how he expresses his perfect love in the simplest ways :) wow.

oh n here's a great idea:-
+ when you're not happy, go n make someone else happy!
+ when you're feeling lonely, go to someone who's worse off than you and make him or her feel less lonely

wow wow wow. great day at church and a message in due season.

p/s: thanks kwang ying again for taking out the trash and jie kai for the CD :)

here i come dear Jesus, light me up inside! :)

puberty not over. haha. :)

had height n weight measurement at PE today.
i can check new year resolution no.12 off as of today haha.
i grew 1cm taller now i'm 169cm and growing!!! :D
on the not-so-bright side, i put on 3 kgs. (my weight is secret)

this week has been horribleee. so much homework (lesson learnt: finish holiday assignment during holiday). i passed up both my math n my econs homework half-done. i really really tried
:( it's more homework for me again this weekend.

went for girls-night-out with my cellgroup girlfriends today at NYDC. had a lil' heart to heart chat bout the BGR. haha.it's great to hear how God has standards for us girls n now i come to think bout it i don't think i've lived up to His standards somehow, but i will start now :) I've missed everyone at e314 nice seeing Huizhen, Tiff-ah-nee, Janis, Jessie, Pamela n Ling Na again :D i love u girls.

kichimayom no more.

it's so horrible!!!!!

roll call time...
no one to scream 'roll call!' or 'kwwwwaaaangggg ying!', no one to run up and poke us halfway to the study room, no one to threaten to stuff us in the toilet bowl or throw us out the window. no one to teach me hindi or punjabi anymore, or teach me bollywood songs, or to take us to little india's best vegetarian stalls and show us around Mustaffa's. No one to read aloud from the Coxford Singlish Dictionary and laugh ourselves silly with when everyone else is so stressed out. No one to cry with and rant about feeling homesick (kwang ying never misses home) . No one to call kichimayom anymore. I miss you kichimayom. :(


but when i come to think of it, even if she hadn't gone back to malaysia, she'd have to move to NUS high hostel anyway. We were just not meant to be :( Oldham Hall 6-03 just won't be the same without you.

anyway i thank God i still have aunty kwang ying here with me hehe. at least i'm not the only one who misses her :)

and WUI JIA!!! .... ANNA arrr... why? why ? why? our hostel prayer group was STARTED by u guys! Why would God take you guys away to NUS High? Oldham Hall needs you. i miss you guys. i miss talking and laughing, even waiting for each other when someone's late for prayer. i've learnt so much from you guys.

but nonetheless, i promise to carry on with the prayer group... that's what Jesus would do, and He moved you guys away for a reason i guess. Go take NUS High by stor!! missing you guys. (:

enough complaining, let's look at today's achievements:

• homework accomplished: 3 incomplete questions of numerical methods
• well erm...
• yeah er....
• hmmm...
• oops.....

... it DEFINITELY felt like i'd done more! :(

happy lar u renxin. She did ONE more question more than me and laughed at me about it. so horrible!!! i thought you were my friend aiyo...

anyway. school starts tomorrow!!!!

new year resolutions must be kept, and it WILL be.

cya!

back

this time 'round, saying goodbye wasn't half as difficult as the last time i did. No choked up feeling, no teary eyes...

thanks jonashua for coming over to say goodbye today. i appreciate that (:

i met sarah lai n david on the coach to singapore! i met them at church camp and found out that sarah's working in singapore and david is a singaporean studying at NUS. i got to know them and wow we're on the same coach to singapore. it's a small world after all hehe. both of them look quite sweet together i'd say hahaha, we exchanged numbers. Hopefully we'll meet up someday.

my roomie kwang ying came to help me with my luggage!!
i haven't been so happy to see someone for such a long long time. i really really really really really miss my roomies. my manpreet kichimayom too.

back in oldham hall...

the place looks like it's under renovation... leftovers from christmas - the christmas tree, decorations looked quite out of place haha. Had a hard time getting my stuff from the storeroom and cleaning the room n unpacking. argh. but i had good help. thanks kwang ying! (:

on the not-so-bright side, all AC scholars have been moved to NUS high boarding school! I didn't think too much of it til i realised anna n wui jia will no longer be here!! I really don't know what's gonna become of our hostel prayer group now... :(

oh God. help me!