the horribble irony of life.

what is the worst irony of life? the most horrible one of all?

so near, so close, yet so far.

I used to think I have a big heart. Now I realise all i had was a big head, full of air. You'd be appalled if you knew the real me.

And I thought I understood people. Nope. Not at all. Not even the slightest bit.

I don't even understand myself, but one thing's for sure.

to those who don't know yet, i'm highly INSENSITIVE. (Left renxin to go back alone today, I know she doesn't mind but I just realised how selfish it was of me). i will never know what you're really thinking until you tell me directly, in my face, please. Send me an sms and I still might not even get it.

I'm sorry for everything. Sincerely I am.

Maybe you want distance from me. I don't know. Or maybe it's just the annoying part of me you cannot stand. I'll change, I promise. You probably want to keep your distance. And yes I finally realise how rude it is to ask where you went again and again. That's why I never do anymore.

Remembered all the good memories of J1 life this morning. Especially the study sessions before promos, nearly everyday after school, and those bus rides back. And those highly underdressed, but happy trips to orchard. I cried. I never realised I had so many to cherish and I realised again how much people around me love me, so much so that I'm spoilt by it. And how much you (all) had to put up with to make me feel loved. But I don't want to be kept from the truth anymore, the truth of how you feel, of how really difficult it is to be my friend.

Aiks.

Maybe I think too much. Over-complicate things.

I don't know lar.