FINALLY.

well.

I really haven't blogged in a while.

Don't know what to say. Don't remember how to blog even. Don't know where to begin.

Well i think I'll just make random statements of whatever comes to mind right now.

Haha. they will be very random.

• the flight was loooooooong.
• the pacific ocean is vast.
• i've been in a plane for more than 24 hours
• lost my ability to tell night from day
• talked to the girl seated next to me in my last connecting flight to austin and she turned out to be a UT student too! Her name's meredith and she's a Spanish major and she's from north carolina.
• kelly and wanda picked me up at the airport. I could recognise kelly straightaway (cos of his beard). But he recognised me first (because of my t-shirt that says 'Friends don't let friends talk to ugly guys).
• I was walking on campus one day and a guy pointed at my shirt and laughed, "Hey you're shirt's funny!!"
• texas is really like it is in the movies. (the buildings esp, i'll post pictures soon)
• no one says 'howdy' here.
• on the other hand, ppl say 'YA'LL' a lot. 'How ya'll doing?!'
• every texan is proud to be a texan. If you meet a texan anywhere else and you ask him where he's from, he'll never say "I'm from the USofA", they'll say "I'm from TEXAS".
• so far every longhorn (that's what UT students call themselves) i know are proud to be longhorns.
• everyone wears burnt orange and white shamelessly. everyday everywhere.
• college football (and i don't mean soccer) is HUGE. it's pretty much the most important thing here i think.
• i've been eating pizza for at least 3-4 times a week. and buritos too.
• I've discovered jalapeno ranch. It's the most amazing sauce in the world next to honey mustard i must say.
• Chinatown here is run by vietnamese ppl.
• The bus system is horrible (compared to singapore at least).
• Lots of weird ppl on the bus (hence the saying 'Keep Austin Weird' i guess).
• Actually no, 'Keep Austin Weird' kinda has a hippie connotation to it.
• But yea, there are definitely weird ppl on the bus. A homeless old lady was sitting next to me on the bus and she shouted stuff like 'Perssia is coming the day is here blah blah blah'. She had a huge hole in her t-shirt and her boobs were showing. :/
• I, the tai kar jie, has a great 'tai kar jie' here myself. Her name's shinsan and she tells me everything i need to know/ i never thought i needed to know, bout life here.
• I've met ppl from turkey, taiwan, hongkong, s.korea (they're everywhere), india (they're everywhere too), china (duh), indonesia, germany, brazil, denmark, france, spain and even Tunisia!
• I have 3 roommates. One's from fortworth, one's from elpaso, one's from san antonio (they're all places in texas). I love them. very interesting ppl.
• I'm taking 4 classes this semester. Multivariable calculus, Psychology, Philosophy and Reading and writing about culture. I dropped intro to western music after the first class. I got into 'history of rock music' but am going to drop it soon. (gonna take it in another semester instead.
• Going to try and get cheap tickets for the game later tonight. So I'll be off now.
• to be continued....

the world through my new ixus

i just bought my first digital camera, the canon ixus 70 (where style meets substance). :)

Went to one u yesterday, nothing much just your average trip to one u but now i have photos to post :)

Well, quin er, jit han, jianping and I met at one u at noon yesterday. We decided to watch a movie, but couldn't decide on which one to watch cos everyone has watched a movie that another one of us wants to watch. So we walked back and forth from TGV and GSC and the majority of us decided we wanted to watch a korean horror movie, To Sir with Love. Jianping initially refused to watch any sort of horror movie but in the end succumbed to our continuous pleading/taunting.

a reluctant jianping

So we took some regular photos:

from left: jithan quiner and jianping

me n my quinee

it's a bird it's plane

the brand new gym-going jianping in full glory

Well the movie turned out to be... not as bad as expected.

It's a story about a teacher(Ms.Park) - now old and wheelchair bound who is visited by ex-students who have now all grown up. Mi-ja, her most faithful ex-student lives with her and takes care of her. There was a class reunion at her countryside cottage and everyone seems happy to see her.

But then nothing (i mean nothing) in this movie is what it seems to be.

We later learn that the students are deeply disturbed and have issues that can be traced back to their schooling days. It seems that their teacher had unknowingly wronged them in little ways that has caused permanent scarring to their souls. It affected them so deeply that they subtly sttempted to kill Ms.Park.

At this point the story seems kinda absurd 'cos those so called traumatizing moments they had back in their schooling days were reaaally petty. Just 'cos she showed the class a very mushy drawing one of her students made for her and laughed at it, the grown up student tried to drown her in the bathtub... like com' on la.

But then the story builds up and we find out that Ms.Park is also very disturbed. She once gave birth to a deformed baby boy whom she kept locked away and raised in her basement. One by one the students die violent deaths and we think it's him but then its not cos actually his father killed him when he was a boy and then hanged himself.

So....actually Mi-ja was the sick one who poisoned all her ex-classmates and butchered them. 'Cos Ms.Park was horrible to her during her schooling days and her classmates laughed at her once in class 'cos she had her first period then and it released some sort of a stench.

But well overall the movie did the job I was terrified a few of the scenes and this horror flick actually had a storyline.

And we laughed so hard at one point cos we realised how much our ex-form teacher Cik Lum looked like the mad Ms.Park in the show. :p

So we went on to get something to eat and quin er left and eventually jithan and jianping left too.

And then I was walking towards the new wing and i bumped into Joshua and Stephen... again! I bumped into the both of them at the ikano not too long ago. fate.

So we moved on to McDs and decided to take a few photos to remember this fateful occassion by.

joshua: what a surprise

say 'tak nak'

semi-emo

me n stephen

decent, half-decent, barely decent

anyway.... those are about all I can upload on blogger.

To joshua and stephen: will send you guys rest of the photos on msn if i get to.

toodle-loo :)

trip

went to sunway with colleagues from my campaign (OCBC-GE i.e. LoCP = Lord of Credit Protection) the day after I resigned...

my first and last outing with them.

pictures will tell em all :)

Well we started out with something light... only mildly scary....

that's me in the blue shirt and fahana on my right who, in the end, got out of the ride before it started

And off we went...

And then we moved on to scarier rides and realised this would already be the sacriest you could find in sunway lagoon.

after the ride...
some of us didn't take it too well though, diana (on the right) threw up while on the ride... but luckily only when she was sitting up right on the ride... the brave fahana on the left, escorting her to the toilet.

We really shouldn't have had that roti canai breakfast right before that :S
fahana the undefeated top-sell of LoCP :) and my selling skills mentor haha. very generous with her tips on selling even to noobs like me







The LoCP family

1st row from left: me, diana, fahana, rain

2nd row from left: terence, vihn, daniel our reserve team leader RTL, valentino (his real name as shown per I.C. I swear), anne, anis, yan.

The LoCP family with Oni the TeamLeader (2nd row far left)

from left: Fahana, me, Daniel the RTL surveying the situation, and vihn

Merdeka adverstistement 2007. Bersatu maju.

From left: Siti, Ah Ling, and Minachi :D

Merdeka girls again: Ah ling, minachi and siti.

LoCP girls

Oni(our TL the one in black)

Classic Oni behaviour no.1:"Sayang......"

Classic Oni behaviour no.2:"COOOMEEELLLL..."

and then finally Oni treats us to KFC with some of the hard earned rm700 bonus last month that 7 of us helped her win haha...

foooooood....Classic Oni behavior no.3: "Mana sales akuu....O.T.sampai dapat!"

Oni the slave driverand they got me a going away gift!....how sweet.... Earrings!! bling bling EARRINGS...

me...sporting the new bling bling earringsand to wrap up the day... me n diana reanacting today's highlight event - throw up session.

back into unemployment

i quit my job!

i quit after 2 months ++ at teledirect and had 1 more month to go in my contract. i like my job and love my colleagues but i still quit. why? heh u might be asking the wrong question. anyway here's a flashback just for the record. my first job, definitely worth reminiscing.

my last day was 31st May 2007, a thursday.

i came to work early that day, as always, sat at the visitor's reception area, turned on my ipod and plopped open that thick max lucado book i read every morning. one last chapter left. Muttered a prayer under my breath. my last day but i still needed strength.

it was a very special day at work cos the big time clients were coming to look around and observe our calls yet again. Which is why we had to put on our best front...So at the briefing today instead of shouting 'Sales sales sales!' we went 'SHOWTIME SHOWTIME SHOWTIME!' which was kinda hillarious haha.

Well it went well and we were more *ahem* honest and careful with our words than usual during that day, not that we weren't honest and careful usually. Well, it was showtime afterall. We stood up for the entire time they were in the office (which i recall was quite long) and cheered and clapped when someone had closed a sale and even when there were no sales. The situation was in short, hillarious.

I found great joy in telling particularly difficult customers i'll be calling them back next week knowing that one of my colleagues would have to deal with them in my place next week. :)I definitely wasn't slacking though, i managed to get a decent 17 sales which is minimum required target for me, for my last day. In fact, I was so into my work that I forgot that I had an exit interview at the HR and I could've stopped work about nearly an hour ago!

So after the interview I came back for the last time to pick up my things, had one last look at the cruel white board that attached each of our names to the number of sales we had. On good days the white board boasted to the world about your day's achievements but on bad ones, the dreaded figures on the white board would drive Oni(our teamleader)crazy, and eventually she would drive us crazy with OT and a whole lot of pinching haha. I looked around the office and saw my beloved colleagues all abuzz busy trying to close last minute sales before 630pm hoping that it would be their lucky day - one without OT! The atmosphere was, still, out of this world... the only kind of office where the bosses are happy when it's noisy and worried when it's quiet.

And then I waved goodbye and left my teammates stopped a while to say goodbye to me and continued with their OT alas. :)

On the way out of the building it felt really different. Firstly because I'm actually walking out when the sky was still really bright haha and secondly because I was walking alone. I started to miss the times where my colleagues n I would walk to the LRT station together talking LOUDLY, exchanging stories and laughing incessantly about the interesting customers we each had during the day. There was our fair share of whining about OT and low sales and stuff and I must say those walks were very therapeutic. It's nice to have great ppl to talk to after a whole day of ppl trying to put down the phone and avoid us.

I waited at KLCC in the meantime, as my colleagues from another campaign were going to have sort of a farewell dinner with me. These colleagues are really special ones, they weren't even in my campaign but they were SUPER welcoming and helpful and friendly when I was just a loner/noob in teledirect. Westly, Tuan, Chloe, Farah showed up and we waited patiently outside of Chilis for nearly an hour before we got seats. :S But it was worth it I was so hungry I could eat a horse and the food was good (huge portions) we just stuffed ourselves. And we talked loudly again (esp Chloe the hyperactive) haha.

Later on they even surprised with me with a cake - and no ordinary cake it was Blueberry Cheesecake from secret recipe! :) The chilis waiter got it wrong tho cos he lit it up with candles and got the staff to sing the 'happy birthday' song to me.

IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!

haha i blew the candles out and we tried to eat some cake but couldn't so I had nearly the whole cake to take home :) They were very kind also to keep asking how I was going to get home and kept telling me how to be careful through horrifying tales of their first hand experience with pervs and robbers on the streets of KL. We took some pictures to remember the occassion by and left at 10 plus!! and they still had work the next day!


I love my colleagues.


But we were gonna have an outing the day after so I had that to look forward to. :)

guy looove. sweet ;)

don't you just looove scrubs!

me in a flash

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my first real job

This is a long overdue post, I know. I've been caught up in... stuff la. And was kinda lazy to update but here goes :)

As some of you know, I'm working! And for once, I've stayed with a job for more than ONE WHOLE month now. I'm a telemarketer at Teledirect Telecommerce Sdn Bhd. What do I do? Basically I sell insurance over the phone.

I was really excited when I completed a week of training and finally got to be on call for the first day. Finally I've got a real job, where people (at least some) take me seriously. No more sitting around, staring blankly at a screen trying to recall how many copies of the delivery order my heavily pregnant, pre-maternity leave senior asked me to make, and which colour of each copy should be put into which file. No more admin crap for me! This is the real thing, I thought.

Everything went smoothly at first. It's like what Paul Coelho described in 'the Alchemist' as Beginners Luck: "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. (p23)"

The first customer I presented to declined at first and said in Cantonese ‘Ngo fok zho lei la’, commented that I really know how to talk, and it ended up in a double-sale! My first day on call and I had just 12 sales, one sale short of ‘star’ status. The first customer I presented to in Chinese ended up in a sale. And the first customer I presented in Malay too ended up in a sale. Everything was going right.

After Beginners Luck wore out, things went downhill.

I had 4 sales on the 2nd day and 3 sales on the 3rd day. But then it shot up to 11 again on Friday and then it fluctuates again. For the first 2 cycles in the first month, overall I did poorly, just a little below ‘Green Zone’. Then suddenly for the last cycle I started to consistently have 20+ sales a day, and for that cycle I shot up to ‘Super Star’ status. I still don’t know what I did differently for that cycle, (maybe it was God, maybe it was breakfast with Aaron who brought luck, maybe the stars aligned in my favour, maybe because I didn’t wear black), I don’t know why, but things happened the way it did.

And so at the end of that first month, I got my first real pay slip. (My mom made me treat the family to lunch at Dragon-i the day after). I took a picture of it but couldn’t load it on. I also had commission that’s not bad at all for a noob.

Oh and they rank us all by our sales every month, and the top 25 in the whole company gets a bonus. This rank initially gave me a lot of pressure cos I started off at the very, very bottom, at 300+. But at the end of the month I shot up to 27th,!! Just 2 places and 3 sales short of the top 25 bonus grrr. Never know when I’ll get a superstar cycle again…. Stupid streak of luck gone to waste L

Anyway, to those of you who endured my talk of number of sales to this point, bravo! Here’s where it gets a little more interesting la. (At least as interesting as this job can get)

As most of you know, I get bored easily.

The job’s excitement is wearing out slowly. I used to love people and now after meeting lots of people over the phone…. Shrugs….. I still love people, but much less. The reality of my job sinks in and I don’t believe in what I sell. So now I’m back, hovering on an average of 12-16 sales a day, counting down the hours before work ends. And thanks to a reminder from Lex, I count down they days left in my contract too. Haha.

But the thing that I like about my job is the people.

Everyone else is young, I haven’t met anyone whose age is above 25 yet. We play silly games once/ twice a day before we go on call. And we do silly cheers with our campaigns like orientation groups do in school. We have silly challenges where we play make-believe Pirates, where our campaign challenges another campaign in our sales numbers with “Gold Coins” (chocolate of course) at stake. When someone closes a sale sometimes people cheer and everyone else tries to clap. Our teamleader splits our campaign into pairs and punishes the 2 pairs with the least number of sales by letting the rest put silly make up on their faces. The most memorable of all would be the ‘Celebrity’ non-sales challenge whereby we dress up as some celebrity we look like. Our teamleader got our whole campaign to dress up. Or rather, she dressed us all up and shipped us away to the judges. Haha. Nearly all of us got into the top 30 where we had a 2 minute walk on the red carpet. Guess what I went as? Haha, I went as Baby Spice, Emma. The 2 minutes on the red carpet was embarrassing. :S But it was really really fun to see everyone else. There was a huge guy who went as Arnold Swachzeneger and boy do they look alike.

Everyone is nice and very very welcoming. They make a big fuss about newcomers at the beginning, that’s always the case, but I guess that’s why no one really feels left out, I think. Still, I don’t have a real clique of friends there though. And for times when I can’t get someone to eat lunch with I go alone, with my book as my companion.

Ah well, guess I’ll blog more bout these very interesting people at work next time. But this is all the blogging I can take for now. :)

update again.

Okay... So I haven't been blogging bout my life lately.

Probably 'cos there's not much to blog about.

But just some detail to clear everything up....

1. I'm not going to Singapore to work anymore

Darn, my master plan was foiled... by potential, unconfirmed (and I stress the "unconfirmed" part) scholarship interviews that, in the event they materialise, will be held here in KL. So after doing the math, weighing the pros and cons and everything, I've decided to stay here. (Recently signing up to astro movie package, and having someone to do my laundry is a big incentive. Movies and TV series trump singapore dollars).

To tai yong, mr.chew, kwang ying n the others whom I promised I'd come back to work, I'm sorry! But I have a feeling I'll be back soon (for uni.)

2. I do other things than watch TV at home.

Contrary to what most people think, I'm very busy at home. I apply for scholarships and there is really an endless list. Yea I've been in the kiasu mood these days. But one thing I realised, is that it's worse regretting something you never did, than regretting something you did. Better to be ambitious and fall flat on my face than not to be ambitious and settle small. (I already made that mistake in uni applications)

I also read quite a bit. (Not newspapers though, I've developed a phobia for them since GP). Finished freakonomics and life expectancy (Dean Koontz) most recently. The second book gave me harlequinophobia. :S

I exercise... to a certain extent. I cycle around my neighbourhood few times a week. Haha. Packed on a few pounds, but I'm still recognizable, I think.

I go out with the few friends I still have here in KL. The usual gang... they're a great bunch, I love them, but I need more girl friends. No cybergaming for me. The girlfriends I have are busy with their respective love lives and studies and stuff. The only girlfriend I have girltalk with is halfway across the globe :( I miss jess.

That aside, I'm not denying that I spend a substantial amount of time in front of the idiot box, as well as finishing season by season of TV series. I'm gonna start on an old movie spree soon.

3. I have a job here starting the 26th of March. Really!

I went for 2 rounds of interviews last tuesday. And I got the job! But seeing my campaign starts late, training only starts next monday (for a whole week by the way). I'll be working in KL, as a telemarketer. They pay decently, and the people there seem nice. I'm hopeful (: Looking forward to earning big commission bucks :D :D :D

4. I passed my driving (re)test.

OK fine I failed my first test, but it really wasn't my fault! Never take the red car when you're doing the slope. Seems like I wasn't the only one doomed to failure by the old red car that's falling apart. But I guess I can't blame it all on the car. Never be nervous too. If the instructor comes up to you and asks you to turn ur engine off when actually you've got it, try negotiating and show him that you really know your stuff. Just a suggestion though. Anyway, save for the agonizing 5 hour wait, the retest went well.

5. I still can't drive yet.

Still haven't gotten my P license. My dad's satria is leaking oil, and my mom will not let me drive the avanza. We don't have money for a new car. (Which is why I wont' be going to Italy for the youth exchange thing anymore) But I will be driving in the near future. I think we're getting a loan. I mean, a car is a necessity.

6. I... don't like.... relatives.

I'm trying to sound mild in the above statement for a few reasons.

a.) Just in case a relative stumbles upon this blog. It sucks, but I recently realised that what they think of us actually matter.

b.) I don't don't like all relatives, I have a few really really good ones actually. But they constitute less than 2% of my extended family.

c.) I realise I myself am I relative to many others. I'm not exactly the nicest member of the extended family. I might also grow up to be an adult obssessed with petty issues. Don't want to be a hypocrite.

Hence I will not disclose details of petty arguments blown out of proportion with lots of unnecessary foul-mouth. Adults can be so petty sometimes.

7. I'm still going to church.

Don't worry people.



I'm doing fine.

if my life were a movie

If my life were a movie....

it wouldn't be an action movie, nor drama, nor thriller......

I think it would be more of an indie (independent) film...

an indie comedy maybe...

one that's funny at the begininning but gets draggy, boring and meaningless in the middle...

the movie hasn't reached its end yet,

but I have a feeling it'll be an inspirational tear jerker,

either that or a tragedy with an upcoming sequel...

a sequel about the life of someone in my life that ended way better.

My life movie wouldn't win any oscars, or golden globes,

but it will be shown at the Sundance film festival,

and it'll be nominated for the Independent Spirit Award...

no wins, but nominations definitely.



If life were a movie....

I would be the supporting actress (but a very good one)

probably the hero's best friend that dies halfway in the movie before she achieved anything remotely close to greatness....

died for a noble cause definitely,

either that or in an accident...

and my abrupt death would change the course of the story....

heh.


That's what I think my life movie would be like right now haha.

what would your life movie be like?

i'm really curious to know hahaha.... do you think you're the leading lady? the hero? or the supporting actor? or just a bystander?

driving lessons, finally!

Had my first driving lesson today, finally!

It sucks to not have a driving license in Malaysia, especially when all my other friends can drive, its even worse when those who are taking the driving test along with you are all younger than you....

Anyway, I woke up at 6am to get ready for my first driving lesson that I thought was at 7am.

I waited, and waited and waited til 7.30am came and realised that the lesson was set to 7.30 not 7 in the first place. Hah.

Well, my driving instructor was Chinese but spoke to me in English. At first he brought me to a quiet road in front of the BU 4 school and let me drive the car and make U-turns for a while. All those practices with my Dad paid off :)

He said that I was unusually calm and steady for a noob-driver. "I can't say that about most lady drivers I know", he even said. Hahaha!!! :D

Then he taught me to drive up a slope, as well as parking. He had a formula for everything, especially the parking. Reverse til you see the first pole in the middle of the backseat window, until the backtire is on the yellow line, until I can see the seventh pole at the back and stuff like that.. he even drew diagrams! Like in real life we'll have poles to look at when we park lar.

Anyway, we went to the SDC circuit and did the slope and the parking.

I passed the slope on my first try! :D

Which was quite amazing cos I was sure I'd be rolling down backwards over and over again like the others, til the cars behind me get fed up.

The parking wasn't too good though. Haha. I could tell my instructor was really frustrated at me 'cos I was saying 'Oh oh okay' to all of his instructions but following none of them heh. :P It was just really difficult for me lar 'cos I totally suck at estimation :(

On the second try at the slope though, I failed, TWICE. Guess that first success was a fluke :P Haha, how embarassing it was to go up the slope and roll backwards before I reach.

Anyway, he still said that I was a FAST LEARNER! And that he would let me drive to SDC on my second lesson :D Wow.

Overall it was a good first driving lesson. Felt like the time I finally learnt to ride my bike.

chaos

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applying to US universities is a pain.

really, why can't they make it simple!? Like the Aussies? or the New Zealanders? or even the Malaysians! I think the process is less painstaking almost everywhere else.

Teacher recommendations?!?! Counsellor Report?! School Report?! My ranking?!?! All have to be in PAPER?! My freakin' teachers are in bloody Singapore! at the OTHER end of the causeway!!!! All the phone calls to them busy, BUSY teachers cost me a bomb. And all the time I have to be nice. Real nice. I need them to say nice things bout me.

SATs?! TOEFL?!?! The registration fee itself is already sky-high. And now they charge to send to each institution. Mommy screamed at the sight of her credit card bill, the ones that had to do with collegeboard.com... every thing is x3.6 damnit. And the application fee!! USD 70 for cornell and northwestern each. I've GOT to get the scholarship now. Just to compensate for the while application and registration nightmare. Bloody daylight robbery.

Financial Forms?!! GOD HELP ME.

How on earth am I supposed to prove that I have USD 75,000 on deposit?! Mommy doesn't even have one third of that amount, not even in Ringgit!! Curse the exchange rate.

Had to ask my aunt. I admit. She's been nice about it. But I hate it. Hate the feeling of having to depend on others. Can't stand the niceties anymore. All year I've but said 'Hi auntie!' during family gatherings and now I've suddenly joined in the conversation, or at least tried to, just to be nice. Smile, when she thinks out loud that I'm too ambitious. AMBTIOUS?! (That's probably the nicest of what she's thinking bout me. Sorry I'm just not a relatives kind of person. I believe relatives are judgemental. They can't help it. It's like in their nature to be judgemental) Chuckles. I applied to the worst of the ivies and almost all others I applied to are state universities. 4 of which their names have barely been heard around here before. AMBITIOUS. THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT AMBITIOUS. AMBITIOUS is applying to Princeton only and expecting to get accepted.


That aside, she got me those letters. Stupid Standard Chartered. They could've signed the stupid forms and saved me the time and the 125 RINGGIT! gosh. 25ringgit for one stupid letter in place of those signatures that should've been on the forms. And they wouldn't even write it right. The universities got it and spit it back. Now I've gotta beg my aunt to beg them to at least put the stupid amount on letter. Its either that or show that she has at least USD 75,000 on deposit. I'm going nuts.

I should've applied to need-blind universities. Then again I'm hoping for an open scholarship that'll give USD 14K per year max, just bout enough to foot less than half of the tuition fee at these universities, let's not even start with the living costs.

What bout the Bank Negara Scholarship?! My 2nd uncle insists that I try out for that. Full scholarship to the university of my choice anywhere in the world. Ah, but nothing's free in this world right? There's a bond, but of course. Maybe it's worth it. Maybe I'll just go there for the experience and give up any thought of possibly working there.

And what if all else fails?!

Singapore?! NUS?! I don't think I did well enough in A-Levels to get into Business. I seriously don't think so. Gut feeling. Logically speaking as well.

Horrible prospect. Maybe I should've stayed in HELP.

Besides, NUS is not cheap. Mommy has to sell her shares anyhow. Dad can but watch and help by sustaining himself with his pay. Debts to pay. Stupid shoplot. God how I wish we were rich.

AND WHEN ARE THE RESULTS COMING OUT?!

2nd of March?! The initial plan was to go back to take my results and stay there to work til July or August. The intial plan was to get a place to stay with carmen and someone else and find a job and earn singapore dollars. The initial plan was to get over the oldham hall idea since the management didn't even bother to interview me.

And now the initial plan is screwed up. Sorry, it's beyond screwed.

I have my driving test on 5th of March here in KL. And I might not even pass. There's hope now, also, that I can get that trip to Japan with the LIONS club that I should've gone on a year ago. Now they're saying I have to host again, but maybe not. I could just go straight to Japan in May. And the stupid AIG Scholarship people. Only shortlisted applicants will be notified. WHEN?! WHERE?! There's not even a proper website to know things. And the chances of me getting this scholarship are so slim I try not to think about it. Anyway if, by any chance I get shortlisted for an interview, the freakin' interview's gonna be HERE! IN KL. And what bout all the stupid university stuff. I've gotta change my mailing address. And as if the chaos wasn't enough Ms. Mag opened up another possibilty at the worst possible time, asking me if I'm up for the AHM interview. And my parents, they'd be worried sick. Calling me every 5 minutes to make sure my application is done, or that I have vegetables to eat.

ARRRGH. I've never consistently been in such a bad temper before. (HMM, grammatical error there). You know what I mean lar. I'm being mean to people around me. Even to my brother, who amazingly, has been nice all this while. Guess the roles have been reversed, my turn to be the troubled rebellious child, the one that needs attention. Mommy called me 'needy' the other day. Needy is what I am now I guess.



I just want to do what I want to. But I just can't and I know it but I can't get over it.

Life's a bitch.

At least right now it is.

the V-day

so.

happy valentine's day!

nothing great about it, it's really just another day with too much traffic on the road. But anyway it was an eventful day for me, which is good, because i haven't had an eventful day for a very, very long time.

Meet up with my beloved ex-roomie, manpreet today :). My kichimayom and I had lunch together and watched a chic flick, the Holiday.

It was not bad, very feel-good, but honestly, it wasn't as good as expected. (I expected a lot cos a friend of kichi's came to watch it the second time haha.) It was a little slow and draggy and toward the middle I kinda was just waiting for it to end, maybe cos kichi had to go halfway through the movie cos her bf came. But anyway the ending was nice, but nothing out of the ordinary.







What I really liked about it was the whole holiday warm fuzzy feeling inside kinda thing, especially with the 2 adorable kids, sophie and olivia. They were absolutely charming!! Kate winslet was great in the movie I think, she was very much the picture of a sad, sad woman who loves but doesn't get loved back and still doesnt' have a clue. But jack black in the movie was kinda weird for me, cos he was playing a very, erm, normal guy in the movie. Maybe i'm just not used to him in movies like these cos I haven't seen Shallow Hal yet :S







Well, after that, went to have dinner with lup wai, ivan, foogie, eongxien, weikeat, shengwei. Bah ku teh at ss2. We stayed only a short while cos eongxien, my favourite neighbour :), won free tickets to Music and Lyrics tonight! Thanks btw! :D





We got past the traffic jam and went to watch that movie, and wow, I had a blast laughing non-stop. It was really really funny. Hugh grant was very funny in the show. Super funny. Ok I don't have any other more sophisticated words in my vocab to express 'funny'. That tall, tall woman from 3rd rock from the Sun and Ray's brother (from Everybody loves Raymond) were very, very funny too!! Oh and those who haven't watched it, do stay for the credits, cos they play that hillarious POP video at the end again with really, funny statements about what happened to the characters.







And I do think its one of the best chick flicks I've seen, with the exception of 50 first dates.







50 first dates is still the best cos it made me laugh and cry at the same time. Music & Lyrics just made me laugh. Didn't really come close to crying, though there was DEFINITELY that warm and fuzzy feeling.







anyway, i really do think Music & Lyrics is a must-watch! Now I can't get that corny 80's POP song out of my head. "oooh... POP!, goes my heart..."And the vision of hugh grant in his ridiculous hair and tight pants prancing about, jumping up and down at his keyboard won't go away. I really don't know why!! Haha, i still want to laugh now.

maybe you can see why.

Anyway, this wasn't such a bad v-day after all. Maybe i'll just spend my v-days watching chick flicks in the future. I like it. :)

hooray!!

who says I waste time at home?

i created my own background.

this orange stripey creation I did myself with photoshop. Hee hee. :)

do comment.

*giggles*

Was working yesterday at OU Giant promoting F&N again when the Pepsi girl tapped my shoulder and told me that there were 2 customers asking for the price of a carton of Vanilla Coke.

Everyone seems to think Coke is part of F&N!

Maybe it is I'm not sure myself, :P but it was sure not MY responsibilty, i ain't getting no pay for that. But well, in the spirit of good customer service I offered to carry the carton to the counter for a price check.

When i saw the customers myself i quit complaining.

OMG, these 2 guys were tall and built, and they kinda look like them Spanish footballers hee hee. TOTAL EYE CANDY! It's rare 'cos mostly all we get are aunties and uncles :D.

They both had hair like Dr.Sheppard on Greys' Anatomy (less elaborate though), and the taller one had his covered with a cap. It seems that they had some difficulty trying to communicate with the promoters, cos' they were speaking English in a heavy foreign accent, an accent that clearly didn't come from a place where English was the native language.

But they could understand perfectly fine when I said, "if you really want, i can get a price check at the counter up front".

They smiled and said 'Thanks, we would like that'. And whoa, that was definitely worth the smile hee hee.

Anyway they were very kind, the taller one said, 'No, no, I'll carry it'. And so they followed me to the counter but on the way I bumped into the merchandiser and he took over.

So I went back about my job.

Then I realised after a while that they were back. They were looking at the other drinks while the other merchandisers explained to them that the price check failed 'cos they don't sell them in cartons or something like dat.

Anyway before they left they both stopped to say 'thank you' to me again.

'Sure, no problem', I said.

Then the taller one looked me in the eyes and said,

"You're very beautiful, you know that?".

I smiled in a very very silly manner but managed to say thanks. :P

I get 'pretty' all the time from aunties and uncles, but this is something else. Haha, a very, very tall and good-looking stranger, telling me i'm beautiful even in my oversized bright yellow F&N t-shirt, my mess of a hair tied up in a pony tail and the pesky pimple growing very visibly on my chin. What very kind people. :) Hee hee.

9 crimes - Damien Rice

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away
when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you dont shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?I
f you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
If I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

No...


beautiful song. disturbing video.

first post of 2007.

so this is the first post of 2007.

Sorry for the long absence, and thanks to those who still come and visit my blog. Sorry for the disappointment and everything. It wasn't that I had nothing to blog about, I mean the Primer's Challenge camp was surprisingly fun, I missed my bus ride home, and braved the floods to come home for Christmas this year...

the uni and scholarship applications are driving me CRRRAAAAZZZYYY!!! If I have to fill in one more form or write one more admission essay, pretending I know for sure what I want in 10 years time, I'll be one step closer to pulling all the hair out of my head, the whole highlighted part of my crowning glory. grrr.

anyway, I've been thinking a lot, and talking much less these days.

I feel lost.

Actually I've felt lost for longer than I thought. Even way before coming home to malaysia.

For a number of reasons actually.

I have no idea what is in store for me this coming year and I feel horrible to think that my fate is in the hands of some scholarship or uni admission selection committee board guy at the other end of the world in the US. But looking at the big picture again, I know my fate is ultimately in His hands, it'll all be settled, but its just killing me to have to live in uncertainty grr.

That aside, I don't know where my life is heading.

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.... Hey sarah sarah, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, hey sarah sarah..."

Poor Sarah. Grr. Poor me.

I'm going to be 19 this year! My last year of being a teenager. I don't have many years left here. More than ever I feel like time is against me. Haha, its a little like mid-life-crisis coming early i guess.

Yet I'm still sitting at home, doing my online uni applications, drowning my troubles in TV and food (man, i've been eating non-stop), and thinking a lot, except for the occassional outing with friends where I talk unusually a lot.

Honestly, I have nothing I'm really good at. And the things I used to have passion for, well, I'm just having second thoughts.

I feel numb. Apathetic. Dull. Whatever you call it.

I'm just going with the flow.

The scary thing is, I'm getting really comfortable just going with the flow. I never used to be like that.

I want to be myself but I'm not sure who I am, who I REALLY am.

On a lighter note, I've realised the these people at StarWorld magically know about what I'm going through and showed TV Programs about people who are searching for themselves too. Haha, no lar, I guess this is a universal thing people go through this kinda thing all the time i guess.

Just like Ed (in Ed) said in today's episode, " I'm nothing but a blip in the universe". A blip. Just a small blip in the radar of eternity on earth. I know, life on earth is temporary; but we've gotta make it count don't we?

Well good for Ed anyway, he found his legacy, designing his own tombstone that said this about himself, "Life was his art". Beautiful. (:

So anyway, I haven't made any new year resolutions this year, other than this one, "I will search, and find myself".

God, please help me.

So its goodbye to Survival of the Little Scrub . That went well by the way, I think I did more than survive, thank God. I've changed my blog name to The Search for the Little Scrub.

So it's a new day tommorrow. I'll be going for my first ever UNDANG course (driver's theory course). Finally man. Haha. I feel bad having to hitch a ride from all of my friends, I really do. It's a start. Who knows, I might be a talented driver heh, blazing the roads smoothly in no time. ;)

Oh and happy new year to you all. :)