Fraility.

have you ever watched 'the Hours'?

Yeah that show with Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and the lot.

I still wonder why Laura, the pregnant wife in the show, wanted to do herself in (not to mention the baby). She had it all, didn't she? The perfect home and family. Was it her neighbour that day? The fact that she brokedown and told of her illness?Just a spur of the moment?

and Virginia? the estranged author who wrote 'Mrs.Dalloway'. but that I could understand. It's difficult living to please those around you. She had a choice though, didn't she? Why didn't she get on the train to London?

and Clarrissa and the party she wants to throw for her dying friend and poet, Richard. Why did the party matter so much?! And what's stopping her from being true to herself? She could've chosen to be happy.



Grr. I find it puzzling. Humans, such irrational, complex beings.

I think we're not capable of handling our own lives. We never know what's best for ourselves no matter how wise we think we are.

Or maybe I just haven't seen enough of life (and death) yet. No maturity of thought you say. maybe. I dunno.


Sigh.

faith.

matthew 6:33

Following God is so not a bed of roses.
Serving Him takes tremendous sacrifice, faith, and a cheerful heart that's right.
It's so difficult!
But if God says you can move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed then, i guess, you can. you definitely can.

I'm gonna go for it this time. I hear God calling me out of my comfort zone. I feel his good work starting in me, equiping me for the bumpy ride ahead. And yes, most importantly the heart. He's softened my heart yet put determination in me that I never knew I had.

Whatever He calls for, He provides for.

I'm gonna stretch my faith this time, i'm letting go, letting God, taking the plunge, risking it all, leaning totally on His strength and knowing in my heart that He'll pull me through. Meanwhile I'll jump off this edge, flap my wings like mad, and trust that His grace is sufficient for me. (:

Haha, so sorry for the funny imagery. That's really how it feels like now in my heart.

Tif needs a cell group helper and finally, for the first time in my life, I'll be serving in a ministry. God's timing is 'impecable' i must say. Haha. You can trust that He'll never make it easy. Of all the times He's calling me NOW. When the A levels are so near i can smell it. When my chem is at F standard and I need nothing less than a C for prelims in 3 weeks time. Gosh.

But I will not be shaken by circumstances!! My strength is in Him. And yes, I haven't felt such peace, and joy, in a long time. Thank you Jesus.


Give me faith, more faith. (: